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Republican OUTRAGE! (Next Thing You Know He’ll Ask Us to Give Up One of Our Three Bentleys)

Bentley

Image by Frank Kehren via Flickr

Congressional Republicans expressed outrage today at the mere whiff of the notion that President Obama will put forth a proposal to tax millionaires at the same rate as middle-class taxpayers. Said one, under the condition of anonymity, “what right has this darkie got to tell my friends that they should pay as much a percentage in taxes as all these nobodies pay.” Another, a billionaire, also asking to remain anonymous, added; “This coon is really becoming a nuisance…I inherited my money the old fashioned way – from my father, who inherited it from his father – who was a hard working well-respected arms dealer – and his father before him, who ran rum, and who was, at the turn of the century, the undisputed biggest slumlord on the lower east side of New York City. I need my four homes, two yachts, and my manservant, among other necessities. But I wouldn’t expect a common working person to understand this. This kind of class envy thing just reinforces my belief that abolishing slavery was a huge mistake.” The anger rippling through the House of Representatives was palpable. Said one Representative practically foaming at the mouth; “Why we ever gave these damn women the damn vote is beyond me. They should’ve been kept pregnant and in the damn kitchen where they belong – with their damn mouths shut!” Speaker of the House John Boehner said last week that tax increases were “not a viable option,” and he further added, “It’s a very simple equation. Tax increases destroy jobs.” Another Republican Representative standing nearby, who also asked to remain anonymous, added “So true. I heartily concur with the Speaker on this. My dear friend Carter Bilge III added two chauffeurs to his payroll last year. I daresay he couldn’t have added those jobs were he shouldering even a slightly higher tax burden. This is a completely unfair proposal put forth by – let’s face it – a second-class citizen, and smacks of a Commie Socialist agenda.” He then went back to pulling the wings off of a butterfly.

About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.

Discussion

9 thoughts on “Republican OUTRAGE! (Next Thing You Know He’ll Ask Us to Give Up One of Our Three Bentleys)

  1. I also enjoy pulling the wings off butterflies!

    Posted by Smaktakula | March 7, 2012, 7:25 pm
  2. Nice. Sadly, the one true bit (Boehners comment) is indistinguishable from the silliness of the rest.

    Of course, once I hit the lottery, y’all are on your own.

    Posted by El Guapo | November 1, 2011, 12:35 pm
  3. *snark* My god man . . . to ask the wealthy to pay their fair share . . . why, that would be class discrimination. The solution to the economic crisis is obvious . . . if all those lazy, indigent people shirking their responsibilites would get off unemplyment and start paying their disproportionately high taxes, we wouldn’t have to bother the ridiculously rich with such mundane worries and the 1% can get back to protecting their special interests. See, simple fix. *snark*

    Posted by Miss Demure Restraint | October 31, 2011, 5:21 pm
  4. Republicans do not understand people like Obama who only own 1 house. They may not have liked McCain a whole lot in 2008, but at least he owned 7 homes so he fit in just a little better.

    Rob – http://www.themainland.net

    Posted by Rob Rubin | October 31, 2011, 12:09 pm
    • hahahahaha…that’s it exactly. it’s out of their meager ken to understand anyone who doesn’t earn over 250K a year. thanks for reading, and for the pointed sarcasm…i have a feeling they don’t understand that either…or couldn’t give a shit. they do always remember to designate themselves as “christians” tho’. continue…

      Posted by barkinginthedark | October 31, 2011, 9:46 pm

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