He awoke with a terrible thirst – for water. They had watched the entire
8hour Fox TV Dillyman and Gloober cartoon special, and the great Fox reality show RME (Rape Murder, Execution). Now he was scanning his card for the $19.99 he would need to buy a gallon of pure water. He would make Koch Brothers Kaw-Fee (“As good as real”) with the brownish liquid that came out of the trailer’s faucets but there was no way he was going to drink this water straight out of the tap. He’d heard of cases of paralysis caused by drinking this water without boiling it. He could boil it he thought – but by the time it got cold…well, he wasn’t going to wait that long. He was thirsty. Holding his Nu-Cash card up to the TV, he saw he only had $14.45. He was going to have to get another $5.54 before he could have a drink of water. He was thankful for his prized possession though – the Nu-Cash card reader. Back in 2017, during the Great Beggar Crisis, The New Republicans passed BUMMA; The Beggars Utilization of Mandated Money Act, which made it possible for the entire beggar class to lease their credit card readers free for the first $20, and then for 50% of their gross thereafter. So roughly 85% of the population was now able to beg in the new cashless society. He was thankful.
He heard his father’s persistent body-wracking cough in the rear of the trailer. At least he’d be able to make him some real Kaw-Fee. Thank God for that. He still hadn’t been able to buy that small heater, and that made him feel like a terrible son. But small heaters, even the ones we imported from India – and which were made in India, were a premium item at $300 and up so…He had tried running a “special” – with every 50 cent handjob a free one for a friend. But the “haves” had just copied the torn piece off the Koch Bros. toilet leaves, and he soon realized he was giving free handjobs without ever making the original 50 cents.
The TV, which, by day, was usually tuned to one of the 16 Fox News channels, was covering the acceptance speeches of the newly elected-in-a-landslide President and Vice- President of The Incorporated States of America, Colonel Jack “Big Jock” Jeffcoat, and the Reverend R.C. “Bob” Cletus. Vice-President Cletus was announcing that President Jeffcoat had just been made a five star General. He felt so proud that we had a five star General leading us in our now seven year war with Iran, as well as planning our offensive against Canada. He was glad also that it would continue to be The New Republican Party keeping all Americans safe at night, and he liked the new slogan; “Our Children – Our Warriors.”
As he sat drinking his Kaw-Fee, he was thinking about when he first took an interest in how his country was governed. He remembered seeing on Fox News that the President we had before, a Muslim, ruined our economy – which, under a great man called W. had thrived. He did remember the televised celebration balls when President Mutt Rummy was elected though (He thought that was his name – but, after all, he was only eight in 2012, so his recollection was hazy). Anyway, it was great to watch all those tall men and women with chauffeured limousines, in their tuxedos, and ball gowns, and jewels. He knew that the New Republicans would eventually keep their promise and make it possible for him to be among them one day. He also remembered that Rummy’s second act as President, after he incorporated the country, was to pass the American Corporations Helping Economy act – or ACHE, and the next day after that, the New Republican congress, in a 535 to 0 vote, re-wrote The Head-Start program to only cover people making over $250,000 a year. They called the combined program Head-Ache. Like everyone else he was sure that, as they said repeatedly, the “job creators” needed the help most of all – and he was glad to do his part.
And then, there it was on the screen – the Fox-TV promo for their new, improved Dillyman and Gloober cartoon marathon. Instead of eight hours it was going to be nine hours! Nine hours of their very favorite cartoon heroes! He and his father would really enjoy that. The heater could wait – he was going to spend the whole $14.45 on some M-Pow!-r, and week old bread, and they would stay up all night and forget whatever it was that might be troubling them. He knew that most, if not all, of America would do the same.
part one of this series can be found here on the main page. parts 2,and 3, can be accessed by clicking on to my “index of all my blogs.” enjoy – i think.
© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2012, with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.