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Republican OUTRAGE! (Next Thing You Know He’ll Come for One of Our Three Bentleys)


Image by Sherlock77 (James) via Flickr

Congressional Republicans expressed outrage today at the mere whiff of the notion that President Obama will put forth a proposal to tax millionaires at the same rate as middle-class taxpayers. Said one, under the condition of anonymity, “what right has this darkie got to tell my friends that they should pay as much a percentage in taxes as all these nobodies pay.” Another, a billionaire, also asking to remain anonymous, added; “This coon is really becoming a nuisance…I inherited my money the old fashioned way – from my father, who inherited it from his father – who was a hard working well-respected arms dealer – and his father before him, who ran rum, and who was, at the turn of the century, the undisputed biggest slumlord on the lower east side of New York City. I need my four homes, two yachts, and my manservant, among other necessities. But I wouldn’t expect a common working person to understand this. This kind of class envy thing just reinforces my belief that abolishing slavery was a huge mistake.”

The anger rippling through the House of Representatives was palpable. Said one Representative practically foaming at the mouth; “Why we ever gave these damn women the damn vote is beyond me. They should’ve been kept pregnant and in the damn kitchen where they belong – with their damn mouths shut!” Speaker of the House John Boehner said last week that tax increases were “not a viable option,” and he further added, “It’s a very simple equation. Tax increases destroy jobs.” Another Republican Representative standing nearby, who also asked to remain anonymous, added “So true. I heartily concur with the Speaker on this. My dear friend Carter Bilge III added two chauffeurs to his payroll last year. I daresay he couldn’t have added those jobs were he shouldering even a slightly higher tax burden. This is a completely unfair proposal put forth by – let’s face it – a second-class citizen, and smacks of a Commie Socialist agenda.”

He then went back to pulling the wings off of a butterfly.

© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.


4 thoughts on “Republican OUTRAGE! (Next Thing You Know He’ll Come for One of Our Three Bentleys)

  1. I appreciate the use of the embedded information in your text and can honestly say I hadn’t noticed it before. Slick touch but I have no idea how to do it. Regarding the satire I’m coming out of my shock and awe phase. Rum runners? Might have heard of this in family lore!


    Posted by An Embarrassment of Freedom | September 21, 2011, 6:24 am
    • Thanx Liz, Re the embeds…when u post, below the box that the post is in, u’ll see a thingee that says “recommended links” it will fill with certain words and phrases that are in what you’ve posted and will ask u to “apply all” just click it…or just choose one or more to “apply”. Rum runners were turn of the century bootleggers. Thanx for reading, and for the comment. Will shortly check out your latest. continue…


      Posted by barkinginthedark | September 22, 2011, 5:05 pm
  2. Awesome hateorade, dude!

    Are you ever gonna poke the liberals?


    Posted by Anonymous | September 20, 2011, 12:06 pm

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