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And, (drumroll), The Co-Winners of This Year’s SCHMUCKFACE Award are… (Plus an email from the Tea Party below)

English: Great Seal of The State of Alabama

Image via Wikipedia

(continuing drumroll)  …U.S. Federal Judge Sharon Lovelace Blackburn (an amazingly appropriate name), and the perpetual state of ignorance – Alabama (ba-da-bomp).

The prize committee of the Sociopathic, Criminally Hateful, Mainly Untouched by Common Kindness, For Anyone Clearly Exotic award, or: The Schmuckface, has decided, due to their stance against Hispanics residing in the state of Alabama, that this years Schmuckface Prize be co-shared by Her Dis-Honor Judge Blackburn and the state of Alabama. Kindly Judge Blackburn’s decision upheld most of Alabama’s far-reaching immigration enforcement law, which, among other things, allows Police to ask for immigration papers at routine traffic stops, (you haff papers, bitte), renders most contracts with illegals unenforceable, and requires Hispanic children to give proof of citizenship at school registration time. (Of course, it’s the fault of these immigrants that corporations have sent some 14 million jobs, and counting, overseas).


When Judge Blackburn was finished Alabama was left with what the Governor called “The strongest immigration law in this country.” As soon as this news was announced on Wednesday, Hispanics in Albertville, Alabama began fleeing. They left behind cheaply furnished mobile homes, fed their dogs one last time, and if no home could be found for the pets, they were simply let loose. By Monday afternoon, 123 students had withdrawn from the schools in this small town, and scores were absent. Statewide 1,988 Hispanic students were absent on Friday, about 5% of the entire population of the school system. Though school superintendents assured parents that nothing would change for children already enrolled, many families were still afraid to wait around and find out if this would really be the case.


One Albertville businessman who rented, and sold, to Hispanics, said his occupancy had suddenly dropped by a quarter, and might drop further depending on what happens next week. People who had paid off their mortgages called him to ask if he’d buy back their homes. Grocery stores and restaurants were noticeably less busy, which in some cases might be just as well, because many of their employees were gone. Drawn by work in the poultry processing plants, Hispanics had been coming to Albertville for years, long enough ago for the older ones to have gained amnesty under the immigration law of 1986, and most of the signs on the main street are bilingual, when they include English at all. Already the measure has proven to be economically devastating, leaving rotting crops in the field, and critical shortages of labor as fully documented Hispanic workers are leaving as well. Since many families are mixed i.e., legal/illegal- children are often American born citizens – the decision to stay or go rests on the weakest link.


As sure as we can be certain that the sun rises in the west, revolves around the earth, and the earth is flat, we can be equally certain that the native born Anglo-Americans of Albertville, Alabummer – and surrounding areas – will now be clamoring to go into the fields and take up the always aerobically beneficial, highly enjoyable job of picking crops, as well as enter headlong into the exciting world of poultry processing.

And in a related item: this email from a tea Party member:

Immagrints Are The Cause (#3 in the series; “Email from the Tea Party”)

I personaly think that all these people from countries like Tiajuanna and Accapulco should just go home and leave us alone here. They are why everythings stinks here and now. These lefty progressive and liberal people always say that the mess we are in now its President George W. Bushes fawlt. But how on G-ds green earth can it be his fawlt when HE ISNT EVEN A MEXICAN! (Duh). I am sick and tired of him and Mr. Dick Chaney being blamed when they were two of the greatest leaders we have ever posessed. And now we have a chance to posess another. I am talking of our own Rick Perry, or our own Mutt Romny, who is a man of the people and a woman too Michelle Bachman. We need to get out and vote them in the white house and get the muslin obama out. And the other people we need to watch are the ones that Mr Rick Perrys friend and supporter Pastor John Hagee warned about when he said “And they the hunters should hunt them,’ that will be the Jews, ‘From every mountain and from every hill and from out of the holes of the rocks.’ If that doesn’t describe what Hitler did in the holocaust you can’t see that.” That’s what the good Pastor said amen and I have it right here on a couch cushun. So we can be sure its immagrints who are not the pure Americans who are the problem as always they have been. Im sure we would all be fine and dandy to go pick our own letuce and mellons and what have you gladly. The young people are always going to the gim instead they would probably love to get the ecxercise and fresh air out in the sun in the fields picking food and things. We don’t need anyone from a country like Moscow or wherever. So remember vote.


© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.


2 thoughts on “And, (drumroll), The Co-Winners of This Year’s SCHMUCKFACE Award are… (Plus an email from the Tea Party below)

  1. Always out there on the edge.


    Posted by BrainRants | October 12, 2011, 3:14 pm

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