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Jobs?.. What Jobs? There’s Gays behind Every Bush Waiting to Jump on our Bodies

Drag Queen

I-BLOW, or Iowans Behind Laws Outlawing Whatever, numbering some 1,000 evangelical voters strong, will be “flocking” to Des Moines Iowa Saturday for a forum to discuss what are – no doubt – the two issues uppermost in all American voters minds, namely, a woman’s right to choose, and the gay “problem.”

All the Republican candidates will attend. The day’s events will begin with a prayer to God to kill all gays, followed by a morning circle jerk. The evening forum’s host, Ralph Reed, chairman of The Faith and Freedom Coalition said, while fondling his genitals from inside his pants pocket, *“A lot of behind the scenes wooing and romancing is going on.”

An additional 2,500 I-BLOW members will attend a pre-Thanksgiving round-table in Des Moines held by the Family Leader, an umbrella group of socially conservative organizations that have banded together for the 2012 campaign. Besides the pumpkin fucking they will be giving thanks that half their members have not as yet been caught in some bathroom with someone’s dick in their mouth. With an eye to the conservatives profound attraction to bathrooms, Steve Deace, a conservative radio host said, *“When that group coalesces around somebody, take all the [other] endorsements and fundraising advantage and flush them down the toilet.”

One of the highlights of Saturday’s forum will be the “Queen of the Forum Pageant.” Entries have been flooding in, and last year’s winner, Jim Bob Simmons, of Focus on the Family predicts that it’ll be tough to beat Rick Santorum, “I’ve seen him in his gown – and he is stunning”,  Mr. Simmons said.

*actual quote


© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.


6 thoughts on “Jobs?.. What Jobs? There’s Gays behind Every Bush Waiting to Jump on our Bodies

  1. So funny. My 18-year-old son is gay, and sometimes we watch the news and walk away scratching our heads. I mean, how sharp does your gaydar need to be, to tell you that Bachmann’s husband likes to stretch his legs when he takes a piss?


    Posted by Averil Dean | October 23, 2011, 4:31 pm
  2. Laughing out loud. I can get a little sensitive about the republican onslaught, but I love how you and Bill Maher skewer them so mercilessly in your own ways. Rock on.


    Posted by Sparks In Shadow | October 22, 2011, 10:42 pm
  3. at that conference, they’re looking into the new push for pre-pregnancy right-to-life laws.


    Posted by joem18b | October 22, 2011, 10:08 pm

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