Bialek lured me with her smiles
And Kraushaar
Image by TalkMediaNews via Flickr
used her female wiles
Each of them was askin’ me to nail ‘er
I’m not admitting any wrong
But we know women’s ways are strong
A pussy hair can pull a tractor-trailer
I, Herman Cain; I never did it
I did not get jiggy wit’ it,
All those babes are lyin’ skanky hoes
If you think I’m blowin’ smoke
I’m just down wit’ blowin’ Koch,
Like I crowed – those Koch heads are my bro’s
So what if I ain’t heard of “that
Uz-beki-beki-beki” place
Only Becky I got that familiar with
Once slapped my face!
I was pizza’s Don Corleone
Honey, hold the pepperoni
After that I want you to sit on it
If you’re cute or if you’re plain-ish
I can’t help but just be Cain-ish,
Baby, baby, ooh you know you want it
So watch out daughters, wives, ‘n aunties
Herm is wormin’ towards your panties
If he runs it’s sad – and also funny
He’s my ideal Republican
Hasn’t got a chance to win
Come on Tea Bag Nation – send that money!
© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Barking In The Dark 
This guy deserves every skewering he gets. Cain upsets me as much as Clarence Thomas (and his crazy wife.) I’m sick of Republicans holding up African American men like these guys, as if they are strong and decent ‘representatives’ of our race. The republican fascination with them feels like another, insidious angle on racism to me. They have to be doing some awfully studious ignoring to embrace jerks like them.
I know it’s probably best that they don’t have a good candidate, but something about the corporate dumbing down of America (the world!) has me scared about the election. Clarence Thomas is on the Supreme Court for life, which makes me feel a bit like I’m doing time. Cain’s teflon coating, as far as republicans are concerned, has me creeped out.
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Posted by Sparks In Shadow | November 13, 2011, 10:22 pmi’m with you girl. they are a despicable bunch and it gives me such pleasure to make fun of them in a very pointed way. yeah, Clarence Thomas…’nuff said. Thanks Re for the comment well put. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | November 13, 2011, 10:41 pmWell done. Funny. But then what could you say about this guy that would not be funny. Keep us laughing. Keep on writing. You sure do have the material, don’t you.
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Posted by Anonymous | November 12, 2011, 8:08 pmthank you anonymous (i love that name) glad i could give u a giggle at Newt’s expense…yeah, lot’s of material in this crowd. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | November 12, 2011, 11:03 pmPlease excuse my complete ignorance ….. walks off wondering who this Herman is… ( is it election time over on your side of the pond again? )
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Posted by egills | November 10, 2011, 12:56 pmHe’s just one of our Conservative Republican Tory assholes who believes he can be our President even though he is pretty stupid…come to think of it…so is a fair portion (read; Tea Party) of our electorate. thanks for reading, and for the comment. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | November 10, 2011, 7:56 pmI don’t think Herman Cain wrote that ballad – way too eloquent for the Cain-inator.
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Posted by El Guapo | November 10, 2011, 2:14 amwhat? you doubt Herman’s intelligence El Guapo? Why? What makes you think he’s not so smart? Huh? What? Thanx for the read, and for the comment…will check u out in a bit. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | November 10, 2011, 2:22 am“What makes you think he’s not so smart?”
Managed to sit through about 20 (combined) minutes of all the 35,976,854 debates so far.
Evidence enough!
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Posted by El Guapo | November 13, 2011, 10:53 pmu watched all their debates? the height of masochism my man. thanks for the comment. continue
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Posted by barkinginthedark | November 14, 2011, 12:28 amHe’s a satirist’s dream.
This is perfection. I was listening to the story about this on MSNBC in the car. My 12 year old daughter made a disgusted sound and asked who in the world could possibly take Herman Cain seriously.
Thankfully a lot of those teabag folks don’t have the grasp on issues that my 12 year old does.
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Posted by lisahgolden | November 10, 2011, 12:28 amthankfully…and he is a gift to comedy…too bad it’s at our expense eh? good your daughter is this aware. thanks Lisa H, i always appreciate your comments. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | November 10, 2011, 12:53 amMagnificant piece of writing. Its such a shame. I could have almost, just maybe, a little bit liked the scum bag. If I had to like a lying, douche bag politician, that is. A leopard always shows its spots.
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Posted by Miss Demure Restraint | November 9, 2011, 11:33 pmi know you don’t mean to malign leopards here Dee. Yeah, this ignorant piece of crap has the unmitigated gall to insult intelligent people by even sniffing at this high office. thanks for the comment. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | November 10, 2011, 12:56 amYAY!!!!! Standing up and applauding. Wish there was a LOVE button …other than the one Hermy wants to get his hands on!
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Posted by Janece | November 9, 2011, 10:45 pmThank you so much for the standing ovation Janece…and the VERY funny comment(and hot to boot – is this a bad thing to say? am i like Herm here? OMG!) continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | November 9, 2011, 10:54 pm