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Humor, Opinion, poem of a sort

The Ballad of the New Hampshire Republican “Debate” Re-Cap or: Who’s on First, What’s on Second, I Don’t Know is on Third.

Republican presidential candidates are picture...

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New Hampshire: a white-wing wing dinger

(Think white-wing’s a slip of the finger?)

The circus rolled in

The seals flapped their fins

Hoping to hear that ka-ching-a


We watched as they tried to devour

Each other in their finest hour

Ricks – dumb and Newt vicious

Mitt, Ron, All: suspicious

Of whatever gives working folks power


Mitt tried so hard not to look fake

Perry to just stay awake

Ron said some shit

John leveled Mitt

And Santorum thought “oh for God’s sake”


Their issues had utmost importance

Religion, gay marriage, abortions

Jobs got lip service

(Real plans make them nervous)

But they’ll brand it conservative caution


Ron Paul – whose mind can be lunar

Made some good points but no sooner

Said Gov funds – no way

Ron, if there’s no FDA

You’ll cull the roach body parts from my tuna?


They said cutting tax is quite viable

(Though taxes are there in their bible)

Newt did pontificate

At least Paul said it straight

And both Ricks appeared certifiable


Perry finally woke and looked quizzical

John Huntsman discovered he’s visible

He and Newt: no ifs, buts –

Both leapt for Mitt’s nuts

As sideshows go it was quite risible


Did I mention that Newtie was vicious?

That for breakfast Rick had loaves and fishes?

Sheesh, they’re all just so white

And so Christian-Lite

That none of them know what a knish is


We we’re there Hampshire – it was a honey

We knew that this show would be money

You’re the tops on the bill

You’re clowns who can kill

But for now we’ll just settle for funny.



© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.


12 thoughts on “The Ballad of the New Hampshire Republican “Debate” Re-Cap or: Who’s on First, What’s on Second, I Don’t Know is on Third.

  1. The debate was very much like listening to “Whos on first”, a great call ! ( not meaning to insult Abott & Costello…)


    Posted by MJ, Nonstepmom | January 9, 2012, 7:16 pm
  2. They sure would make a good side show when the circus rolls into town.


    Posted by Don in Massachusetts | January 9, 2012, 6:42 pm
  3. Set it to music, and you’ve got great material for whoever replaces Mark Russell on PBS…
    As always, great stuff!


    Posted by El Guapo | January 9, 2012, 4:54 pm
  4. thank you Michelle, me too, laughing is good. ya gotta love this bunch…well-you know what i mean. continue…


    Posted by barkinginthedark | January 9, 2012, 4:54 am
  5. Classic! Love it! I was laughing before I even got to your posting when I saw the title in the email.


    Posted by She speaks.... | January 9, 2012, 4:34 am

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