Fox News revealed just minutes ago that Trayvon Martin was a double agent for an as yet unnamed country in either the west or east….or maybe even the Middle East.
As ace Fox anchor Bill O’Reilly reports, “It has been discovered by our sources that allegedly George Zimmerman knew that Mr. Martin was probably a dangerous double agent, knew he was a possible threat to our very existence as a country, and had been following him for months. The other country involved besides the aforementioned unnamed country was another unnamed country, where Trayvon Martin was indoctrinated and taught the fine arts of spying. Our source – who, you understand, must remain anonymous, also told us that Mr. Martin had once visited a tattoo parlor, and had a closet full of hoodies.”
Fox reports that Mr. Martin “spoke seven languages and could spy in each one of them.” O’Reilly added that ‘”we have undisputed, incontrovertible, evidence – which, of course is under lock and key owing to it’s sensitive nature, and the fact that we here at Fox News do wish to take the feelings of the Martin family into consideration on this – but evidence that we think just may point to perhaps a distinct possibility that there might be a chance Mr. Martin maybe could have been acting as a possible undercover proxy agent for an as yet to be named alleged person of interest.’ Then, looking quite serious, he stared into the camera and said; “I’ll have all these incredibly unbelievable facts after this word from our sponsors.”
Sean Hannity also reported that Mr. Martin was “obsessed with that Commie feng shui and loved moving furniture around in people’s homes.” Hannity added “If I ever caught anyone, let alone a Commie Pinko, fenging – or shuiing – in my house it…” and here he paused dramatically, “… it would be… not good – as my boyfriend would be so upset.”
Later tonight the Fox TV special “George Zimmerman – Misunderstood Martyr: The Director’s Cut” hosted by Ann Coulter, will be aired in its entirety, including the never before seen footage shot during George’s time working with Mother Teresa in Africa.
THIS JUST IN: Fox News has learned that Trayvon Martin possibly could even have been a Triple Agent! Maybe.
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