MISSING

Law enforcement agencies all across America were on the lookout today for Middleclass. Described as dazed, confused, and sometimes armed and dangerous, Middleclass has disappeared as if swallowed up by a giant sinkhole.

Rush Limbaugh Cartoon by Ian D. Marsden of marsdencartoons.com (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Interviewed this morning on the Rush Limbaugh Show, investment banker Halliwell C. Morgan III, a member of the one per cent said; “Middleclass seemed really nice, even when he’d lost the job he’d had for more than twenty years which I might add was, of necessity, off-shored – due to no fault of mine, or anyone I know. Then, when Middleclass could no longer afford to send his kids to college, or even to a decent grade school, he started getting a bit bent out of shape. It wasn’t too attractive either. I mean, shooting at people and such, I still don’t get it.” Limbaugh added; “And laughably, Middleclass had the nerve to whine about all these  perceived  injustices – which, if the problem exists at all, is the result of Middleclass’ own laziness, lack of education, and innate inability to man up.”

To date The FBI has been unable to locate Middleclass although working with many leads, i.e.: prolonged unnecessary wars taking Middleclass’ family’s lives, while draining our treasury and leading to crumbling infra-structure, and loss of our manufacturing base. In addition, when Middleclass returned from his military service in the aforementioned unnecessary prolonged wars he did so to no available job, and to politicians such as GOP Tea Party Congressman Frank Guinta (R-NH) – who voted for billions in cuts to veteran’s programs. Moreover, all the while, Middleclass watched helplessly as the income of people in the one per cent increased sharply by 19.6% while Middleclass’ own income decreased by 36.3%.

It is feared that Middleclass may be lost forever – never to be seen as before again.

President Obama has put forth many jobs programs for Middleclass such as a Veteran’s Jobs Bill, and the $447 billion jobs package of September 2011. All in all  nineteen  jobs bills – and counting – proposed by President Obama have been voted down by Congress under pressure put forth by Congressional Tea Party Republicans – bills that, along with creating jobs, would have strengthened both our manufacturing base while providing millions of blue collar middle class jobs, and re-building our crumbling bridges, highways, and inner-cities. This, while passing a spending bill that includes defunding Obama’s health plan for Middleclass and approving a GOP plan slashing 40 billion dollars from the food stamp program.

Though there have been scattered reports of Middleclass being seen begging on street corners, sleeping on sidewalks, and wheeling grocery carts carrying huge plastic bags stuffed with empty bottles, cans, and scraps of discarded detritus that have become his  personal possessions – however worthless – no one as yet has been able to pinpoint an exact permanent location for Middleclass.

Members of the one per cent meanwhile continue to amass more and more personal possessions and greater wealth beyond that which anyone could ever need – or exhaust. It is surmised that much of this wealth acquired by the one per cent over the course of the last twenty years has, in fact, been slowly siphoned from Middleclass, which has left Middleclass angry, confused, and most of all, desperate. Evidence of these phenomena appears as headlines in the news almost every day.

When last seen, Middleclass had spent time between two sub-groups. When Middleclass was a professional, he was part of roughly 15% to 20% of households that were the upper or professional middleclass. This group consisted of highly educated, salaried professionals and managers. Then when Middleclass was laid off due to outsourcing he joined the roughly one third of households that was lower middleclass. This group consisted mostly of semi-professionals, skilled craftsmen and lower-level management.Still, in both groups Middleclass had a comfortable standard of living, significant economic security, considerable work autonomy and relied on expertise to sustain. For the most part Middleclass had a clean, scrubbed, all-American look, wore clean, comfortable clothes, lived in a neat home or apartment, went to work at a good job for a fair wage, and put his children through good to excellent free public schools and affordable colleges. All this ended with the disastrous economic policies of the Bush/Cheney administration, which precipitated the loss of some 7.9 million jobs and presided over the rapid decline of the health and welfare of Middleclass.

Anyone having any information which would lead to the central whereabouts of Middleclass should report same to the FBI immediately.

Sadly, it won’t make a rat-fuck of a difference.

One more thing – Be warned; if spotted do not approach him but instead call the authorities – he is angry, armed and dangerous.

© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.