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I have sent out literally hundreds of thousands , maybe millions, maybe hundreds of millions, of emails and I have yet to hear back from ANY of you ingrates. Not a blessed single damn one of you… none, nada, zero, zilch! Not one single, simple, solitary, friggin’ peep.
Now – I can understand such spiteful dismissive treatment from my 1st wife (who I still like to remain in contact with ‘cause she was really hot), and I can expect this kind of unappreciative, unresponsive treatment from ex- wife # 2 as well (not as close with her, but…), and it goes without saying – but I’ll say it anyway – that I most definitely expect this sort of unwarranted, shameful, neglectful, careless treatment from my darling children who, with all their faults, still manage a perfunctory pity “hi” every seven-and-a-half years or so, and I certainly, as sure as the sun will come up tomorrow tra la la, expect this sort of shabby, laissez faire-ish, thoughtless, demeaning, who-gives-a-shit-about-Norman attitude from my twelve grandchildren, heaven forbid they should ever deign to pick up a phone, or send a card, or even a lousy tweet – never mind 140 characters, I’ll settle for 5… H-E-L-L-O!
From all of them I expect this “Oh-it’s-just-Norman-so-it’s-not-really- that-important-not-so-as-I’d-wanna-actually-take-maybe-28 seconds-out-of-my-life-to-tweet-his-ass, kind of attitude. That’s right! You read right! I expect this kind of crappy, insensitive, careless, cruddy behavior from all of my unappreciative, uncaring, out-to-lunch, oblivious “family”, and I use this word loosely. BUT, I do not expect such a cavalier, unbecoming, thoughtless, unkind, blatant in-your-face go fuck yourself position to be taken by someone – anyone – and a stranger no less, for whom I have just gone out of my way in order to kindly email them a HELPFUL, ADVISORY, to just let them know that they MAY JUST MAYBE WANNA RE-SEND THIS IMPORTANT LIFE AND/OR DEATH MESSAGE THEY THOUGHT THEY HAD SENT, WHEN IN FACT said message of said life and/or death was never actually received in the FUCKING FIRST PLACE!!
And I, Norman Mailer-Daemon, never having once met any of these oafish ingrates, these cretins, these miserable, heedless, selfish, self-centered, buffoonish barbarians – I repeat – I, went Out. Of. My. Way. Which is, on most days, a considerable way to go out of – mind you, in order to notify these miserable wretches that whatever imbecilic drivel they may have thought they had inflicted on some other equally miserable wretch – or wretches, HAD NOT GONE THROUGH! NICHT! NON! NEPPURE! NOLIEGUMA PARTIKULA? COMPRENDE USTED? And please, please – Don’t bother replying to this email either. Thank you. It’s waaaaay, waaaaaaaay, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too late!
© tonypowers and Barking in the Dark, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tonypowers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Barking In The Dark 
Reblogged this on BarkingintheDark and commented:
my newer readers may enjoy this piece from 2011.
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Posted by barkinginthedark | July 6, 2016, 5:14 pmOnly you, my dear Tony, would have a post from September “pressed” in March. I secretly believe (in my black little heart) the WordPress gods love your political commentary so much they searched back through your archives to locate a post “tame” enough for Freshly Pressed.
You truly deserve the recognition of your talent and the “awesomeness” of this blog.
Miss D
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Posted by Miss Demure Restraint | March 16, 2012, 4:08 amDee, i so appreciate this comment from you, and, re the “tame” reference, i have a feeling you may be right. this is high praise indeed, and i am most grateful for it. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 16, 2012, 5:36 amGreat piece! Wonderfully inventive and a treat to read, all the way through. It is no surprise this ended up as a featured post on WordPress.
I did, in fact, write to Daemon AND I got a response. It way back in the late 80’s, in the early days of civilians getting connected. “The Web” was not even being talked about, at that time, and Netscape was still in vitro. Anybody not in university research or the Defense system was connecting with, and through, CompuServe. I was an early adopter, one of those with a three-digit suffix.
My second-oldest daughter, Carol, went off to Penn (the Ivy League university, not THE pen) where they were already doing great things with student connectivity. She got was given a campus email address at registration. And here’s something cool about Penn: having developed the FIRST computer (ENIAC) in the early 1940’s, they still call the university system by that name. So every on-campus email address is not @upenn.edu but @upenn.eniac.edu.
I decided to see if I could get an email through to her but had to guess at her exact email address, since letters home were hard to come by in the first couple of weeks. In my first attempt, I left out the dot between first and last name. What came back, late the next day, was a GIANT header with a small email message attached to it, which read:
“I looked your daughter up on Finger and she must be Carol _______. Her correct email address is: _________…”
There was no signature, so I combed through the header and came up with what seemed like a source address. I assumed that the “mailer” part was preamble and so I addressed my email to a guy I thought was calling himself Daemon. I thanked him profusely for helping me find Carol, asked what in the world “Finger” was, and told him that I liked his moniker, especially the Classical Greek spelling.
In response I got a wonderful email from a professor named Karl Kleinpaste at Ohio State University. He explained that Daemon was a piece of software, lodged in the bowels of the OSU mainframe, that handled all the internet email. Daemon dumped un-routable emails into a holder file and, as one of the people who voluntarily oversaw its workings, he had seen my note and sent the information I needed.
At that moment I knew that the internet was going to be a great thing. Not because of the machines, but because of what really clever, and really NICE people people were going to do with it.
Thanks, Tony, for triggering the memory.
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Posted by thejazzmonger | March 10, 2012, 1:07 pmwhat a WONDERFUL comment. thanks Jazz, i appreciate it, the props, and a bit of history as well. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 11, 2012, 12:48 amDear Norman Mailer-Daemon
I liked this post better than all your books.
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Posted by Anonymous | March 8, 2012, 11:21 pmwhy thank you anonymous…i love all your stuff. especially the anonymous stuff which i didn’t know you wrote. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 8, 2012, 11:33 pmThe pun of the blog post title is worth the price of admission already…
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Posted by PostCollegiate | March 8, 2012, 6:32 pmthanx, i appreciate this, and i love your picture. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 8, 2012, 11:16 pmyou tell me not to reply so…
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Posted by Casey_Leigh | March 8, 2012, 3:50 pmmea culpa, mea maxima culpa…i’m an idiot. thanks for reminding me. 🙂 continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 8, 2012, 11:34 pmno problema. At least tu sabes…
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Posted by Casey_Leigh | March 16, 2012, 2:02 pmI answer you,lol!if don’t you mind!
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Posted by Yingying Xue | March 8, 2012, 5:58 amfunny. thanks yingying. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 8, 2012, 8:50 am“Norman Mailer-Daemon”… only you, Tony. Only you. CONGRATULATIONS FROM MY HEART!!!!! ❤ ❤
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Posted by She speaks.... | March 8, 2012, 4:55 amTHANK YOU SO MUCH MICHELLE! – you can tell by the caps how much i value your approval…i know the mashed potatoes were good and that you are chugging along very nicely. i love the little hearts (tho’ it took me 20 seconds to figure out that’s what they were. – another duh.) i send you a BIG hug. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 8, 2012, 4:57 amThem ‘taters were yummy and are now in my tummy! (that’s the extent of my rhyming)
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Posted by She speaks.... | March 8, 2012, 5:22 amhahahahahaha…too funny, amde me laugh. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 8, 2012, 5:31 amOh Norman…if you can’t get my mail where it needs to go, could you at least come here and put me by the window.
Put me by the window, Norman!
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Posted by lauracgardner | March 8, 2012, 12:54 amoh oh! i hear ominous music…i am afraid…i’ll do it, i’ll do it. stay calmmmm…thanks Laura C. i always appreciate a witty comment. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 8, 2012, 5:09 amIt’s exactly this kind of angry, passive aggressive behavior that makes me not want to be friends with you. So…I’m not sorry.
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Posted by edrevets | March 7, 2012, 10:33 pmcan you blame me? millions of emails sent and…never mind. it doesn’t matter. i’ll just slink away. thanks a lot for the “not” apology…and all the way from Cairo yet. hmmmmm…you DO care. thanks Edrevets, continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 8, 2012, 5:13 amHave you considered the possibility that there is something wrong with your e-mail account?
Messages could be getting blocked by something.
I mean, aren’t you even getting useless spam from people telling you about things you could win or SOMETHING?
If there is a problem with your e-mail account, try changing the password and/or deleting it and setting up a new one.
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Posted by random8042 | March 7, 2012, 9:30 pmhmmmm…i’ll check into this. thank you Random, Norman. and continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 9:38 pmYESSSSS!!…I just won 2 million dollars in the Nigerian lottery. thank you Sophie. i will cut you in, send social security and bank account numbers. i sent them mine so i know it’s okay. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 9:57 pmcool.
I’m glad that worked.
Can I have some of your winnings? 😛
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Posted by random8042 | March 8, 2012, 6:02 pmTo the concern of whom, I am the ambasaadore of the Nation. Have I been instructions to send you 1 millions of dollars by Mr. Norman mailer-daemon. All must you do is send social security # and bank accounts #’s to immediate attention. thank you.
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 8, 2012, 7:52 pmHa!
Like I’d post stuff like that up here.
No, we must come up with something more cunning.
How about this?
I decide that I don’t actually know what to do with a million dollars.
Or this?
You decide that I don’t actually need a million dollars.
Because the thing is,
I actually don’t
So I’ll pass up this time.
btw, how much is a million dollars in pounds?
and your grammar is terrible
and you can’t spell ambassador.
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Posted by random8042 | March 9, 2012, 6:38 pmTo the concern of mr. Random, a million dollars in our currency is $7. 47 we can send immediately. be kind to send all credit card numbers asap. in pounds? we send in our currency only. hurry, my aunt is dying. my speling is impecible. with all thank yous intact. continue
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 10, 2012, 11:51 pmwtf?
gollum
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Posted by random8042 | March 11, 2012, 6:10 pmAnd I’m female.
So you can call me Ms. Random.
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Posted by random8042 | March 11, 2012, 7:27 pmTo the concern of MS. Random, a million dollars in our currency is now $6. 23 so you shall hurry in all good faith to recollect. we can send by bank transfer. be kind to send all bank numbers, and blood type asap. As before mentioned prior, no pounds. we send in our currency only – which is high valued all over everywhere. hurry, my aunt has died. with all thank yous still and will be always intact. The Ambasadore. continue
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Posted by tony powers | March 11, 2012, 10:26 pmMy blood type is oo negative.
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Posted by random8042 | March 12, 2012, 1:16 pmp.s. yes we have WTF gollum. please send. thank you
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Posted by tony powers | March 11, 2012, 10:29 pmyes Ms. we have WTF and Gollum. please send everything.
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Posted by tony powers | March 11, 2012, 10:31 pmNo, no, no, no, no.
You misunderstand.
WTF means What The F*ck.
Gollum is a character from Lord of The Rings.
You can just ignore the gollum.
You are obviously crazy.
I’m lovin’ it.
I also have a feeling that you are using Google Translate badly.
Does your currency have a name?
Is it even real?
I am finding it increasingly likely that it is merely a figment of an overactive imagination.
continue…
(lol)
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Posted by random8042 | March 12, 2012, 1:15 pmi’m so sorry Ms. Random, i think you are mistaken, wtf is Wilfred T. Flense who appears in 2 of Mr. Barking’s little stories:
1. Iowa Man Sees Baby Jesus in His Swiss Melt
and 2. Mitt Romney: The Art of the Flip- Flop. Or; if I Said That, This is What I Really Meant…For Now. Unless I Change My Mind. I Think. Maybe
as to the oo negative blood type, you strike me more as oh-oh possible/positive. your humble servant, Norman M-D continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 13, 2012, 6:11 amIs it too late to reply, man? I never got your email–I swear!
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Posted by Smaktakula | March 7, 2012, 7:23 pmvery droll Smak, never too late. thanks and continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 9:36 pmI would write back to you if you didn’t specifically say not the respond to the message. Do you enjoy toying with my emotions, Norman?
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Posted by Sara | March 7, 2012, 5:39 pmi live to toy with your emotions Sara. i remain yours, Norman. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 9:37 pmI’m not sure, but it seems to me there is a sentence in your post that may qualify as the longest sentence ever in a WordPress blog. Fantastic, faaann-tastic post! More, please… 🙂
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Posted by thejordanwhisperer | March 7, 2012, 5:05 pmi believe you’re correct in your assessment of perhaps that one sentence contained herein may be the longest ever put into a wordpress post, which shows that you, Jordan, carefully read, enjoyed, and took pains to count said sentence in the piece, for which i, norman mailer-daemon am eternally grateful and thank you many times over. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 9:43 pmThis is absolutely hilarious! I would give my eye teeth, if I had them anymore, to write like this. There is little more frustrating than no response to an email . At one time it irritated me so much I took the time to write a poem about it which I did not publish. I need not have written it at all; you have done such a terrific job.
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Posted by grandfallswoman | March 7, 2012, 2:31 pmThank you GFW, i too would like to have my eyeteeth back…or is this besides your point? i appreciate the kind props and urge you to publish the piece – Norman would be grateful. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 9:45 pmWow! That is all.
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Posted by seanjrankine | March 7, 2012, 11:40 amwow, i appreciate this pithy pat on the back Sean. thanks man. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 9:46 pmIts really a nice blog…well said..
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Posted by real estate property Bangalore | March 7, 2012, 11:12 amnice is nice -thanks Bangalore. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 9:48 pmkids and grandkids should respect their parents and grandparents in the art of technology and remind themselves to say “hi there [elder person] how are you doing… this is what i have been up to that you would like to hear about and what you wouldnt like to hear about i will not tell you unless i know you cannot clip me around the ear”
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Posted by Blogbiscuit | March 7, 2012, 10:37 amthis made me laugh out loud – very funny BB. thanks for the giggle. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 9:49 pmI really loved the way you used your words sir. You are a damn of a writer. 🙂
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Posted by Noise Maker | March 7, 2012, 10:26 amthanks noise, i am a damn of a writer. i have also been called a dental dam of a writer also and too. i appreciate the props. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 9:52 pmhuh got scary…….
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Posted by Dreamz infra | March 7, 2012, 9:18 amhuh me too.
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 9:52 pmI’m glad for you that you have now received a plethora of responses. I, unfortunately, am stuck with the Norman Bates-Daemon, who only gets emails from his mother.
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Posted by poetryofamadman | March 7, 2012, 8:09 ami was hoping for a dearth but… thanks for the witty comment madman. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 8:20 amhuh?
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 7:59 amthat happens to me all the time. nobody wants to email me. i sent of over 100 CV’s and i had no responses. how depressing. i would email you 🙂 and we do definitely have a mailer daemon in the UK 🙂
keep smiling
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Posted by emmahevezi | March 7, 2012, 7:52 amyeah Emma, it’s annoying. i hope someone responds. soon. thanks for reading and commenting. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 7:57 amouhygfcxfghj
nh
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Posted by Anonymous | March 7, 2012, 7:11 amok.
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 7:57 amI think someone was checking if they would get any reply from you !! Mike testing,1 2 3..
Super funny post, Tony.
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Posted by shil | March 7, 2012, 11:08 pmAlmost inspires that Snow White rant on how a mirror isn’t something that you stare at. It’s a gorgon you place proudly on your shield riding your mighty dragon steed while you take out cockroaches, spiders, and flies.
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Posted by Anonymous | March 7, 2012, 6:41 amalmost.
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 7:58 amThat was funny, impressive, and just a little bit scary. Loved it.
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Posted by bmj2k | March 7, 2012, 5:25 amthanks for the comment, and the props. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 8:00 amGood and funny!
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Posted by tunebloggers | March 7, 2012, 4:57 amthanks tunebloggers, i appreciate it. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 8:01 amI love how even the structure is there to let you know it’s an annoying, screeching, explosive rant. Having a name like that must be pretty unfortunate, maybe as much as being called Superman Lopez or Astroboy Suarez.
Trust me. These names DO exist.
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Posted by Joe Pineda | March 7, 2012, 2:54 amthanks Joe, i appreciate the comment…and i had dinner with Astroboy Suarez the other night. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 8:03 amI really don’t care for NMD. He’s virtually a waste of my space and time, so screw ‘im!
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Posted by jvlivs | March 7, 2012, 2:39 amyeah, that’s what i say…wait a minute – that’s me. thanks for the comment JVLIVS. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:40 amGreat post! I hope my grasp of the English language has made enough justice to your usage of it. Hilarious! I will for sure think of you and this post whenever I get an e-mail from Mr. Norman Mailer-daemon; I will feel the need to reply, or just tweet at him! Oh the guilt! the ever present guilt.
Congratulations, not only on being freshly pressed, but on getting a new follower. Me.
You, sir, please continue…
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Posted by joaquinbarroso | March 7, 2012, 2:38 amThanks Joaquin, but i don’t understand a single word of what you wrote! just kidding. 🙂 i even made the smiley face here. anyway, i really appreciate the kind comment and i shall endeavor to keep us all amused…especially myself. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:43 amI got rid of you a long time ago. 😛
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Posted by Elisa | March 7, 2012, 2:23 amBut i’m baaack Blanche…thanks for the witty comment Elisa, i appreciate it and will check u out asap. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:38 amhahaha…. it was HILARIOUS…. you are so funny…..
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Posted by ridafatima | March 7, 2012, 1:52 amthanks sweetheart, i appreciate it. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 1:59 amThat was awesome. (Yeah, I used that word. Go ahead, raise an eyebrow, mock me. I don’t care.)
And just for the record, years ago, when I was quite naive, I did respond to you. You ignored me. So don’t come cryin’ to me about nobody caring. All you wanted was the reply. I never mattered to you, did I?
I don’t resent you though. Your plight is distressing, to be sure, and your anger understandable.
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Posted by lauracgardner | March 7, 2012, 1:39 amLaura, (this isn’t the Laura Gardner who was my acting teacher is it?) anyway, and aside from that- thanks for this wonderfully witty, droll comment. which is why i shall check out your blog. and hmmmm…you must have read my post “awesome” yes? continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:02 amNo, this is Laura, teacher of French and of ESL, actually. But I won’t hold that against you. I mean, it’s not like you called me the wrong name or anything. Thank you for your nice comment about my comment about your post. I did read your “Awesome” post, which was phenomenal! So good and so true in fact that I’d write a “phenomenal” post myself, but then it would look like I’d stolen your awesome idea. Guess I’ll have to find some breaking news to write about instead. Then we can start a dialogue and perhaps end up with some ground-breaking philosophy around it.
But don’t get me started. Suffice it to say I share your frustrations when it comes to the dumbing-down of anything – particularly language. As for my blog, I’ll offer this pathetic, wannabe disclaimer: I’ve only just started, so there aren’t a gazillion posts yet. But please do check it out. I’m just getting revved up.
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Posted by lauracgardner | March 8, 2012, 12:51 amTwo ex-wives you keep in semi-contact with and mailer-daemon can’t even give you the time of day. What’s the world coming to when decent people can’t get their oh-so-important mail through?
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Posted by Debra Colby-Conklin | March 7, 2012, 1:25 amDebra, thanks for the comment, i guess i made the 2 exes up – there’s just 1… i do tend to make everything up on this blog, but yeah, what’s wit’ dis joik eh? continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:05 amPerhaps he’d get more attention if Mr. Mailer were both naked and dead.
Oh wait…
Congrats on the FP Tony, and I can see I’m going to have to troll your site from the very beginning now…
Enjoy!
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Posted by El Guapo | March 7, 2012, 12:33 amEG, you ARE a funny man! (in a serious ha ha way) yes hidden gems abound, hidden gems i tell you…and i shall return the trolling favor friend. thanks, continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:08 amOMG…now that you have let it all out…Whooo–saaaahhhh! I love the comedy! keep it coming!
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Posted by Sarade | March 7, 2012, 12:21 amthanks Sarade, why not eh? will do…there’s plenty of funny on past posts also. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:10 amReblogged this on ButterflyyGemini – Evolution & Enlightenment.
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Posted by ButterFlyy Gemini | March 7, 2012, 12:17 amthanks much, i appreciate the kindness. shall check u out too. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:11 amThank you!! I will also continue to check you out. I’m somewhat new to blogging but very intrigued!! 🙂
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Posted by ButterFlyy Gemini | March 8, 2012, 6:36 pmReblogged this on Chowshingyau's Blog.
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Posted by chowshingyau | March 7, 2012, 12:07 amthanks much Chowshingyau, i appreciate the kindness. shall check u out too. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:16 amToo, too funny! And congrats of Freshly Pressed. Great post.
Kathy
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Posted by Kathryn McCullough | March 6, 2012, 11:51 pmThank you Kathryn, i really appreciate the props. i’ll check ur stuff out asap. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:19 amReblogged this on finnegan2749.
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Posted by finnegan2749 | March 6, 2012, 11:37 pmthanks a lot Finnegan, i appreciate the kindness, and i shall check u out asap. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:20 amI think I just peed a little.
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Posted by David DeMar | March 6, 2012, 11:20 pmdidn’t that feel good tho’? thanks David i appreciate it. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:21 amOoh oh no, you’ve got the mailer daemon.
Have you tried turning the excorcist off and back on?
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Posted by momsomniac | March 6, 2012, 11:14 pmi am an excorcist. thanks for the comment Momsomniac…get some sleep. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:23 amNever heard of the mailer-daemon before! I’m loving the thought of a furiously typing (and furiously angry) daemon living in the dungeons of the internets, forever typing unanswered emails. Great post 🙂
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Posted by metan | March 6, 2012, 10:57 pmthanks Metan, yeah, that is a funny image, exactly what was in my mind writing this. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:24 amYou are one angry cusser!
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Posted by Sonja Bukvic | March 6, 2012, 10:29 pmThanks Sonja, i sure ’nuff am by golly gee whiz. 🙂 ‘n willakers, i appreciate the dang comment darn it. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:27 amReblogged this on glacialtides.
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Posted by glacialtides | March 6, 2012, 10:10 pmthanks Glacial, i do appreciate the appreciation. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 7, 2012, 2:27 amSee, had you gotten responses to those gamillion emails sent, there would be no post today to get “freshly pressed”.. it’s a give & take thing.. great post.. actually freaking hilarious.loved it!
This is almost as good as being selected as Oprah’s Book of the month, huh?
Well deserved!!
Lynne~
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Posted by free penny press | March 6, 2012, 9:39 pmthanks Lynne, glad it gave u a giggle. will check u out asap. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 9:43 pmMy homestead is new here so be kind..please
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Posted by free penny press | March 6, 2012, 9:45 pmalways. enjoy the process…it’s all good. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 10:10 pmI used to reply all the time. You must have me marked a spam. All I got from you was some line abut it not being a monitored email account and to not reply again.
Fact is I got 2 from your Cousin, Mailman-Bounces just today. I thanked him for his timely notification of the problem — and you know what?
I GOT NUTTIN. NADA. ZIP. ZILCH. ZERO response from him as well. It must be a Family trait. Or maybe hes your Half Brother. Doesn’t much matter to me. pretty Dang rude if you ask me! 😦
LOVE THIS POST. I wish I had thought of it. Congrats on being freshly pressed. Get ready for your INBOX to do some OVERTIME!
‘Nuff Said 🙂
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Posted by Air Cooled Underware | March 6, 2012, 9:03 pmthank you Mr. Underware, my cousin got bit by a dog last week so that’s prolly why u haven’t heard from him/her. i appreciate your witty comment. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 9:45 pmBest wishes Tony! Great to see your writing is promoted on Freshly Pressed! think of me writing about church suppers, poetry and owls…..
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Posted by An Embarrassment of Freedom | March 6, 2012, 8:42 pmowls are good. funny that they picked a post i did some 6 months ago…but yay. hope ur well Liz, and writing. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 9:47 pmFunny, congratulations on being freshly pressed!
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Posted by Marcia Clarke | March 6, 2012, 8:22 pmthank you Marcia, i appreciate the read, andkind props. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 9:48 pmWow! Have you tried alcohol?
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Posted by blackshepherd | March 6, 2012, 8:20 pmwashthaaat…aclolhol?…ahcoahlo? alclo- thanksh fr teh commment. continu.
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 9:50 pmHysterical! Thanks for giving me a great laugh today.
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Posted by Regina (Gina) Arnold | March 6, 2012, 8:08 pmthanks Regina(Gina), glad u got a chuckle outta this – and i appreciate your letting me know. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 9:52 pmYay – Seeing you Pressed made my day, Congrats Tony!
Anyone reading comments: I highly recommend browsing through some of the Ballads.
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Posted by MJ, Nonstepmom | March 6, 2012, 8:06 pmThanks Janet, i’m very appreciative of your long-time readership, and comments girrl, and glad this pleased you as it does me. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 9:53 pmThanks for making me laugh out loud! I needed that.
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Posted by Sarah D. | March 6, 2012, 7:58 pmthanks Sarah D. always glad to give a lady a laugh…and out loud to boot. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 9:54 pmDo you feel better now?
At least you got Freshly Pressed. Congrats!
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Posted by susielindau | March 6, 2012, 7:53 pmAhhhhh, SusieL., yup. not a crease on me now. thanks for reading and commenting. stay tuned – will try to keep bringing the funny. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 9:56 pmI will look forward to your rants of snark!
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Posted by susielindau | March 6, 2012, 10:38 pmThanks for the giggles, well written and now well understood. however, if you sent me an email, I would have replied 🙂
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Posted by Aurora, HSP | March 6, 2012, 7:43 pmAurora, i bet you would have 🙂 so glad to give a lady a giggle, and thanks for the props. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 9:58 pmHi Norman Mailer-Daemon. I hate Mailer Daemon because it is so evil it always return my most important e-mails. I used to think Mailer Demon was a virus until i got computer literate. Now, this blog is hilarious. Congrats for being Freshly Pressed.
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Posted by Omwa Ombara | March 6, 2012, 7:39 pmthanx OMWA, i appreciate the props and the comment. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 9:59 pmHaha, oh this is great. Congrats on Freshly Pressed! I did wonder at one time whether mailer-daemon was a real person 🙂
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Posted by Samantha | March 6, 2012, 7:39 pmof course i’m a real person Samantha…prick me, do i not bleed? congratulate me, do i not glow? anyway, thanks for enjoying the piece, and the kind comment. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 10:01 pmHahah !! Now this made my evening !! And moreover, the title actually got my eyes closer to the laptop screen!! 😛 Cheers Norman 😀
And please check out my latest post on love & relationship – http://raajtram.wordpress.com/2012/02/28/let-the-time-decide/
And even my new PhotoBlog – http://raajclicks.wordpress.com/2012/02/29/oh-i-love-my-laptop/
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Posted by Raaj Trambadia | March 6, 2012, 7:29 pmthanks Raaj, i appreciate the comment – and your using my blog for your plugs. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 10:03 pmI’m sure your EX-wife appreciated hearing that she is hot. Lol. Made me laugh today. Thx and congrats on being pressed!
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Posted by MakersDaugther | March 6, 2012, 7:00 pmthanks Makers, i appreciate the comment and my ex-wife appreciates the piece. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 7:03 pmIt does make one wonder if the creator of Mailer-Daemon had an evil ex-spouse with a similar name.
Now THAT would be a great prank.
And as someone who occasionally blogs about my own crazy divorce, I think you may have just inspired me…
🙂
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Posted by Mikalee Byerman | March 6, 2012, 6:54 pmgo for it. thanks for the comment Mikalee. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 7:05 pmp.s. will check out your “crazy divorce” blogs asap. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 10:06 pmMost excellent. I hope you like what you see, considering I’ve developed a writer crush on you today! 🙂
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Posted by Mikalee Byerman | March 6, 2012, 10:27 pmLove the title! Good Post!
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Posted by Handsome Lover of Words | March 6, 2012, 6:47 pmthanks handsome, i appreciate the props. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 6, 2012, 10:05 pmIf Norman had not changed his reply email to Do Not Disturb, maybe (unlikely, but possible) I would have plucked him out of the spam filter. Wait, no. I would have soiled my fingers. So, no.
Red.
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Posted by Red | January 29, 2012, 2:53 amthanks Red, i appreciate the witty comment…and your sub. i shall check u out asap. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | January 29, 2012, 6:11 amYou so made me laugh by the end, but in the beginning I did fear you were having a way, WAY bad day. Learnt a bit about you too – two ex-wives…You know, I’ve just never dared marriage against since my sailor hubby when I was 19. But I commend people who learn – no, DARE – to live again 🙂
Was just cruising your pages & had to drop in on this because it had ‘Norman Mailer’ in it! But I know that mailer-daemon you’re on about. Man, you’ve got grandchildren too. Your family sounds yeek like mine. Oh my, here’s hoping Daniel won’t forget his ma in the distant future…
Happy New Year, Tony!
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Posted by WordsFallFromMyEyes | December 28, 2011, 6:27 amno hon…just one ex-wife…no grandkids…every day is a good one – this is all made-up out of my febrile imagination for a giggle. thanks…and i’m sure Daniel will write unlike Norman’s kids. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | December 28, 2011, 10:17 pmThis is HILARIOUS!!!
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Posted by On My Square | November 17, 2011, 3:53 amthank you. i really appreciate the feedback and i’m glad it gave you a chuckle. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | November 17, 2011, 11:01 pmDamn, you do make me laugh, my friend! That was brilliantly funny.
I’m gonna write Norman now. I just hope it gets delivered to him this time…
-w
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Posted by Wendell Price | October 13, 2011, 3:46 amjust saw this…thanx man. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | October 13, 2011, 4:02 amI first thought this was going to be your take on a spammer, however now I read it a few times I’m still as confused as I was to start with…….
You actually expect your sprogs to say hi?
And every one knows the only time you see grandchildren is if you’re the shmuck that’s babysitting them or if they want something.
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Posted by egills | September 23, 2011, 11:55 amjust simply goofing on the idea of an actual person being this guy Mailer-daemon, in this case, Norman Mailer-Daemon, (u know- like the author Norman Mailer) who sends but never gets answered…as if those mailer-daemon emails were from an actual person…and if so, how does he feel about never getting a response. that’s all.
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Posted by barkinginthedark | September 23, 2011, 7:43 pmp.s. it just dawns on me…perhaps in England u guys don’t have a Mailer-daemon notice when ur emails come back? do u?
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Posted by barkinginthedark | September 23, 2011, 8:15 pmaw, I can handle this…used to teach !
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Posted by Anonymous | September 22, 2011, 7:33 pmgood. just a little play on the idea of Mailer – Daemon as a real person named Norman Mailer Daemon. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | September 23, 2011, 7:45 pm