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ANOTHER CALL FROM HEADQUARTERS

Reince, Reincela baby…honey…Joey Goebbels here und Ich gotta tell ya zat der big guy in Bavaria iss chumping up und down today mitt schadenfreude zat you volks in your verruckt loony-toony party are blaming der “liberal media” for, for — entschuldigen Sie, bitte…ya gotta excuse for eine second because Ich am laughing meine hoden off…you … Continue reading

ALABAMA MAN SEES BABY JESUS IN SWISS MELT

Image by Nika via Flickr Dateline: New Blemish, Alabama From the New Blemish Daily Morning Movement, Mr. Wilfred T. Flense, a prominent member of the New Blemish branch of The Freedom Caucus, told this reporter yesterday that the baby Jesus  had appeared to him in his Swiss melt, “I was havin’ mah lunch ovuh at … Continue reading

Another View From The Tea Party (# 4 in the Satirical Series Emails from the Tea Par- er, “Freedom” Party)

Contrary to the email you’ve received to date from various other members of our Freedom Party, my wife and I are both educated, well-informed university graduates, (me; Oral Roberts University Law School, she; Liberty University Law School). As attorneys, and students of the Constitution of these United States, we can both vouchsafe that there is … Continue reading

ENTIRE FAMILY GOES ON SHOOTING SPREE

An entire family of seven went on a prolonged shooting spree yesterday in a department store in Fort Wayne, Indiana. The Wilbur family of Aurora, Indiana stormed into Bob’s Department Store at eleven a.m. Saturday angered by the fact that a salesperson in the sporting goods department had “the nerve” to sell their eight-year old … Continue reading

PLUTOCRATS PETITION CONGRESS (“The cost of a Rolls-Royce has gotten out of hand.”)

The House of Representatives, at the behest of five of the wealthiest families in America, have decided to open hearings on why the cost of the 2015 Rolls-Royce Ghost is now $383,000. Attorneys for one of the prominent families whose name was not divulged said; “my clients now find themselves hard-pressed to furnish each of … Continue reading

REPUBLICANS RALLY BEHIND NEW SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE

Republicans announced today that the new Speaker of the House would be one Richie Grundesmann of New Old West Eastville, Indiana. Mr. Grundesmann volunteered to take this position of leadership, which no one else seemed to want, and was swiftly approved by the Republican house members in an overwhelming voice vote. Although Mr. Grundemann is … Continue reading

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