An entire family of seven went on a prolonged shooting spree yesterday in a department store in Fort Wayne, Indiana. The Wilbur family of Aurora, Indiana stormed into Bob’s Department Store at eleven a.m. Saturday angered by the fact that a salesperson in the sporting goods department had “the nerve” to sell their eight-year old daughter a defective assault rifle.
The store was mobbed with customers at a gun clearance sale and the family proceeded to disperse two to a floor shooting and killing ninety-two people and wounding another twenty-three. The seventh member of the family, father Aaron Wilbur Sr. 56, went to the basement bargain area and personally dispatched seventeen people with a Sig Sauer M400 semiautomatic rifle purchased at the very same store.
The other family members, Mother, Sarah Wilbur 52, three sons Aaron Jr. 37, Judah, 36, Hosea 35, and two daughters, Ruth 14, and Naomi 8, the aggrieved party, did the bulk of the killing and maiming using weapons ranging from Sig Sauer P226 pistols to the semi-automatic Browning BARs – some using both. All the aforementioned weapons were previously purchased at the store as well.
Said an unnamed family cousin; “What, a store has the right to rip off an eight year old when she goes to buy her first assault rifle? Doesn’t she have any rights? I believe with all my heart that the Bible says that what you are doing is a sin. And dont forget, guns are an inalienable right granted to us by the second amendment of our Constitution. And that means guns that work real proper like. This store must be held accountable.
When a reporter questioned whether or not it was right for an eight year old to possess an assault rifle in the first place the cousin replied; “Are you discriminating against our Naomi because of her age – or her sex? Frankly, this whole affair comes at quite an inconvenient time for the family as we are going be married next week.”
The National Rifle Association came out in full support of the Wilbur family saying they would back a full scale investigation into the deceased clerk. An NRA spokesman said: “Ah poiss-un- ally ay-um outray-udged at this stow-urs lack of a background check when it came to the ha -ring of this hee-uh cloik who sold sweet little Naomi this deefective product.”
On FOX News Congressional Republicans were standing firmly behind the NRA’s stance in this matter.
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