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offbeat

This category contains 57 posts

“No Problem” or: Hey Mister – Is That Your House That’s on Fire?

Whenever I hear the words “no problem” (which I probably hear at least 5 times a day) I instinctively look up as I quickly sidestep, fully expecting to see a safe plummeting straight at my head from thirty stories above me. Either I quickly look up for the falling safe, or I quickly sprint away … Continue reading

NEWS FLASH: A FIRST LOOK AT TRUMP TV

  Barking in the Dark has been privileged to receive an advance copy of the new Trump TV Network program line-up. Here it is: 3:00 – Time for Tweeting with Donald J. Trump (The Day’s First Tweets. Live – from the Trump Tower Master Bathroom) N 3:15 – Important and Unbelievable Tweets – with Donald … Continue reading

INSANE “OPEN CARRY” FIASCO AT SITE OF REPUBLICAN CONVENTION

Cleveland – In an unprecedented and certainly avoidable tragedy today in Ohio, an “Open Carry” State, heavily armed members of Tea Party for Trump, Hell’s Angels for Trump and Bikers for Trump and some 3,000 other armed Trump supporters who were gathered outside the Quicken Loans Arena, site of the 2016 Republican Convention, engaged in … Continue reading

“VIRTUALLY” VIRTUAL

At present, the word “virtually” is, to me, “virtually” the single most disturbing word in the English language – and also, for that matter, in any other language. Check that – actually, it is not “virtually” the single most disturbing word in the English language at present, it “really” is. This is the word plucked … Continue reading

ANOTHER VIEW FROM THE TEA PARTY: INTELLIGENT FACTION (# 4 in the Satirical Series Emails from the Tea Party)

Contrary to the email you’ve received to date from various other less well-informed members of our great Tea Party, my wife and I are both educated, well-informed university graduates, (me; Oral Roberts University Law School, she; Liberty University Law School). As attorneys, highly educated people, and students of the Constitution of these United States, we … Continue reading

HOUSE REPUBLICANS UNANIMOUSLY PASS HOUSE RESOLUTION 728

Co-sponsored by Reps. Harley Ray Smoot of Alabama and Joanne Emmerich of Idaho, the Clutch Roots Of Mate And Go act or CRO-MAG, was passed in The House today by a vote of 247 to 188. The 247 ayes being all Republicans and the 188 nays being all Democrats and Progressives. Said Representative Smoot afterwards; … Continue reading