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REPUBLICANS RALLY BEHIND NEW SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE

Republicans announced today that the new Speaker of the House would be one Richie Grundesmann of New Old West Eastville, Indiana.

Mr. Grundesmann volunteered to take this position of leadership, which no one else seemed to want, and was swiftly approved by the Republican house members in an overwhelming voice vote. Although Mr. Grundemann is not a member of the House, and is only fourteen years of age, Republicans everywhere breathed a sigh of relief that this important position was now filled.

When asked by reporters what his qualifications for this important position were Mr. Grundesmann replied; “well…I mean I think first and foremost I am an outsider and as such I am someone for sure far outside the Beltway. I mean I also believe I know as much about what’s going on here as any House member does because I watch Fox TV News with my father and I am therefore for sure way aware of the current problems facing this country and such so I believe I’ll be a swell House leader.”

When asked what he thought of the previous Speaker of the House he replied:”I mean I’m not exactly sure who that was for sure so I can’t really comment except he might have been that guy who looked like a creamsicle.“ Republicans everywhere lauded him for his keen observational skills and his desire to only look ahead.

In the coming days Mr. Grundesmann will be faced with a myriad of pressing issues including; gun control, “ I mean I dunno…we’ll see…”, immigration reform; “I mean I dunno…we’ll see…”, jobs; “I mean I dunno…we’ll see…” and a number of other important issues facing the country to which his definitive answer for all of them was; “I mean I dunno…we’ll see…”

Republicans everywhere were effusive in their praise for Mr. Grundesmann’s honest and forthright stances on all these issues. Said Congressional Rep. Horace Johnny Joe Merton, Republican of Smyrna, Georgia; “these positions taken bah the new speaker show a forthrahtness and a honesty we so badly need in these arduous tahmes.”

When reporters asked the Congressman if he wasn’t a bit concerned that Mr. Grundesmann was only fourteen years of age and has had no political experience of any sort the Congressman replied; “Mr. Grundesmann has been a newspaper delivery boy and as such has had more than a passing acquaintance with the news and current affairs. He will be a outstandin’ Speaker of The House and Ah will be proud to follow his lead.”

When Mr. Grundesmann was asked to comment on Cong. Merton’s statement he said; “I mean I dunno…we’ll see…”

 

 

© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.

Discussion

8 thoughts on “REPUBLICANS RALLY BEHIND NEW SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE

  1. Brilliant! I laughed. Then I thought about the dingbats grilling Hillary last week. Is there anything more strange than an unembarrassed republican?

    Glad to see you back.

    Like

    Posted by Sparks In Shadow | October 27, 2015, 3:01 am
    • thanks Re, and re the Hillary grilling – how come no one mentions that it was this Republican Congress of the Strange that voted down the requested monies to reinforce the safety of the Benghazi embassy? just askin’. anyway, glad u got a chuckle outta this post. continue…

      Like

      Posted by barkinginthedark | October 27, 2015, 10:36 am
  2. Well, he is closer in age to the two-year-olds who are shouting no-no-no in the House. If anyone can play along with them, he might be the one.

    Like

    Posted by Jnana Hodson | October 11, 2015, 4:02 pm
  3. How much the position pays?
    And also maybe there’s nothing else to steal…
    Down here in San Francisco, the chinese mayor, gets $250.000 @ year, plus all the bribes, excuse me, all the incentived commissions they get for each approved developments, the Sheriff $225.000 and the supervisors $12.000 @ month , now, we, sorry, they, do know how to make a living in the Bay Area…
    And by the way, do you think is any intetesting proposition to vote for in San Francisco in the upcoming November 3rd elections?
    Nothing whatsoever that doesn’t benefit anyone, except them, the ruling class…

    Like

    Posted by transtime | October 11, 2015, 3:44 pm
    • all i know is i vote for the seafood in S.F. tho’ i agree that the “ruling class” usually manages to somehow benefit themselves either by gerrymandering or whatever other weasel-y way they can get away with… other than that i dunno anything. thanx C. continue…

      Like

      Posted by barkinginthedark | October 11, 2015, 4:37 pm
      • That’s why I like you, because I keep learning from your synthetics comentaries, today was “manipulate the boundaries of (an electoral constituency) so as to favor one party or class”…

        Like

        Posted by transtime | October 11, 2015, 5:39 pm
      • ahh yes…Elbridge Gerry…the man who elevated electoral swindling to a high art. glad to be able to add to your cache of already impressive knowledge. continue…

        Like

        Posted by barkinginthedark | October 11, 2015, 5:46 pm

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