Rick Perry to Bring Back Guillotine in Texas

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Rick Perry, Governor of Texas, and leading Republican candidate for President in 2012, has decided to bring back the guillotine as a combination execution/entertainment for the people of Texas.

“Ah want to do something nice for all mah constituents an ah got the idea the other night while watching that movie Quills on The Fox Movie Channel” said Perry. “Ah put that together with the desires of a lot of mah constituents in Texas, and especially the Tea Party folks at the Republican debate the other night who cheered like crazy at the idea of jes’ lettin’ someone die, and this light bulb went off in mah head…an’ Ah jes’ gotta go with mah gut – an’ mah head too – ‘cause if it’s one thing Ah am, it is decisive.”

He poured a couple of fingers of bourbon, sat down in a large leather recliner, and continued, “Ah envision it as an event kind’ve thing y’know? Tickets, popcorn, maybe even televise it – Ah got a line on a couple sponsors already. Mah wife suggested we call it Cuttin’ to the Chase, but Ah am partial to Rick Perry’s Slice of Death mahself – git it… instead of slice of life? Perry then paused and a pensive look came over his face. Then; “You think if Ah call it Slice ‘O Death it’ll confuse folks, ‘cause it is a cuter, y’know, more cleverer title…an’ a little hepper too…Ah wonder.”

As his wife entered the room Perry nodded to her and went on, “Ah got in touch with Folsom’s Auto Emporium down in Odessa, an’ they’re gonna donate a brand spankin’ new Chevvy pick-up to us because Ah got this other idea of givin’ a prize to the person who catches the head. Huh? Genius! Ahm gonna call that part of the show Gettin’ Ahead.” Perry’s wife poured herself 2 fingers of bourbon and said “Ah don’t know where he gets his brilliance from…do you?”

Then Perry suddenly straightened up, jumped from his recliner, and blurted out “GETTIN’ THE EDGE! THAT’S IT! That’s whut we’ll call it…an’ for the TV ad we’ll get that guy with that great voice who does them voice-overs on them NFL films, an’ he’ll say somethin’ like “Coming soon – the cutting edge in entertainment…see heads roll” He laughed….“Rick Perry’s Gettin’ The Edge.”  They both stood there arm in arm beaming broadly. His wife again said “where does he get his brilliance from?”

You know…I really couldn’t answer that question.

© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.