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Cavemen at Work: Robbing Paul to Pay Perry (Plus a Related Item at the bottom)

So I see where Texas Governor – and Republican Presidential hopeful – Rick Perry, who’s made his bones calling for a smaller federal government while blasting federal spending, is now whining that the federal government has been too slow to send FEMA funds to help fight the wildfires currently raging in Texas. His friend, Ron Paul, … Continue reading

I Mean, Like in The Big Brother House?

I mean, like I can’t really like remember like what it’s like to like like someone, and maybe they like don’t like like you back? Because I mean like that’s like gotta hurt like somethin’ like fierce-like? And I mean I guess like it must’ve, but like I don’t like remember it? I mean, it’s … Continue reading

Hi-Ho Silverfish…The Klan Rides Again

Recently, at a well-secured remote ranch outside of Austin Texas in temperatures above 105 degrees – where silverfish and other insects thrive – Rick Perry pledged to America’s leading evangelical leaders that, if elected President, he would work to deny women the right to any kind of abortion, which means even in cases where a … Continue reading

Breaking News # 3. God charged in alleged NFL fixing scandal

On the virtual eve of a brand new season, God was charged today with allegedly fixing the outcomes of the last forty years worth of games played in the National Football League. According to her attorney, God “at no time had anything to do with any of the players who, when games were over, would … Continue reading

No Problem (Or: Mister is that Your House that’s on Fire

Whenever I hear the words “no problem” I instinctively look up as I quickly sidestep, fully expecting to see a safe plummeting straight at my head from thirty stories above me. Either I quickly look up, or I quickly sprint away from where I’m standing because the ground is going to open up and swallow … Continue reading

So This Corporation Walks Into a Bar

From a Mitt Romney speech: “Corporations are people”. The following is a true story: The other day I had to use the rest room in a restaurant where I was dining. I chose to skip the one marked Men, and the one marked Women, and instead opted for the one marked Corporations, which I must … Continue reading