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Breaking News # 3. God charged in alleged NFL fixing scandal

Lyuba, a baby mammoth discovered in 2007 in Si...

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On the virtual eve of a brand new season, God was charged today with allegedly fixing the outcomes of the last forty years worth of games played in the National Football League. According to her attorney, God “at no time had anything to do with any of the players who, when games were over, would thank Her for either helping them to win, or play their best.” For Her part God said: “I swear on Myself that I’ve never even paid attention to any sporting event since woolly mammoth riding, and that was so totally a yawn.” She than made a hasty exit saying: “I really have far more pressing matters than this to attend to like, oh, I dunno… global climate change, for example.” When asked to elaborate She said: “All my efforts in the climate change area continue to be thwarted by a bunch of Conservative Republican ignoramuses, and their dumb Republican Tea Party puppets.” She added: “And if a schmuck like this Rick Perry weasels his way into the White House, I’m moving to another Universe.”

When asked later why players keep thanking Her, She shrugged and replied; “Me only knows.”

© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.

Discussion

2 thoughts on “Breaking News # 3. God charged in alleged NFL fixing scandal

  1. I knew there was something fishy about all those winning teams thanking God for the victory when the losing team had also prayed for God’s help.

    Like

    Posted by The Good Greatsby | September 5, 2011, 2:23 pm

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