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Cautionary tale, Humor, satire, writing

Email From the Religious Right re: Planned Parenthood Clinic Bombing

I think that that Planed Parentshood Clinick in Wisconson probally had it comming to them. They was just askin to be bommed in my mind handing out all that antiseptive advise to girls like my daughter sos they can go out and have sex with whoever thay want at any time such as with them jews darkies and beaners and all them there to.

spare ribs on the barbeque

spare ribs on the barbeque (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

We all know that womens was ment to have childrens and that is for sure why the good Lord G-d above in His intimate wisdom gave womens anginas. And womens came from the spare ribs of a man and so they are less then a man and must do as a man says at all times always. A woman belonges in the kichen doing what she is ment to do like making meals and washing dishes and also they belong in the house cleening the house and doing lawndry and just staying home having babies and channging dipers.

 

And also she shall cleave to her husband in all things to so sayeth the Good Book. And having a clinick whare they can recieve ideas how to decieve is not G-dly and also we are put on his earth to go forth and begat as the good book says and to pro create also.

 

And also as I see it havving a place whare they can plot against nature is just plain sack religious and some times we wise men have to act for the good of the comunity and we shall be rewarded in Heaven for it to. It will be noted on the Heavenly scroles that good men acted to keep thare daughters safe from this blasphemy that they call “womens health care” what a krock.

 

My momma had 16 children and all of them are smart like me and we was all home-shooled by Grammy Walda Jo and I swear on both the Blessed Virgin and Our Lady of Perpechewal Birth Pains that we are as smart as anyone hear and don’t need no one telling us how to stop havving our babies. And I have 8 daughters to whose already have 21 babies between them and all of us old enuff to vote will be voting for Mr Rick Santorem or Mr Matt Ronmey in this eleckshun come this part of the yeer that comes later.

 

They are both Holy men as they beleive in The Bible and that are both devowt even though Mr Ronmey wares magic underwares he is still a good white man and I know in his heart he thinks a man is boss of a woman and such as like that to.

 

I am a Christain man and a believer in The Ten Commandoes and Christs word as must be all of thems who bommed that G-d forsaken clinick place in Christs name.

 

I will close by neeling and saying a good Christain prayer for every one who agrees like I and who ever don’t can go to hell amen.

 

 

© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with either THE FULL URL, or a LIVE LINK to the source, and with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

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About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.

Discussion

28 thoughts on “Email From the Religious Right re: Planned Parenthood Clinic Bombing

  1. Thas sum thinkin theres.

    Like

    Posted by Lorre | April 18, 2012, 6:54 pm
  2. Coffee meet screen (yet again, dagnabit) palm meet face (ouch) … I think I know him, down here in Texas I think he is running our state.

    Like

    Posted by valentine logar | April 10, 2012, 5:02 pm
  3. Ahhh, so this is what Momma meant when she told me to stay away from people like “that”. I dare say the writer said his Mom had 16 kids, well perhaps the intelligence thinned as it flowed down the herd.

    I think you now what side of the clothesline I stand on..pro-people’s rights!
    Great piece Tony!!

    Like

    Posted by free penny press | April 10, 2012, 11:46 am
  4. Yay to all the good things, this is why i follow you…great advice..I come from a land of hundred gods..and each one told me to follow my man, follow his orders…for what is a woman if not her husbands shadow !!!
    I am so happy you have so much faith in it that you blogged about it…You are the chosen one my friend
    Women health care is blasphemy …yes I am nodding my head…agree with you…
    people like us go up and enjoy in heaven but while we are on earth every one got to do their time and follow the real order of the universe
    great write up may god give sense to others

    Like

    Posted by Soma Mukherjee | April 10, 2012, 5:37 am
    • yes Soma, your gods are many and most wise. but i do not recall giving my man permission for you to spea -er type…and also the interwebs is a highly technical device and therefore not made for women. and where is it in the holy books that a lowly woman may have a fabulous sense of sarcasm and wit? i do not see this anywhere. i will consult with god on this question and my god will get back to your hundreds of gods about this puzzlement. thanks for the (wicked/wonderful) comment. continue…

      Like

      Posted by barkinginthedark | April 10, 2012, 5:57 am
  5. Tony you should be complimented! After all, you appeal to readers from genius to cretin.
    Picture of the ribs was priceless.
    The only way I have ever cleaved to a husband is, well, under the floorboards.
    Oh hell. I thought is said Cleaver.
    Keep these ‘letters to the author’ coming.
    xoxo

    Like

    Posted by Rachael Black | April 10, 2012, 2:57 am
  6. Amen, bruther.

    Like

    Posted by SusanWritesPrecise | April 10, 2012, 2:31 am
  7. I was made from a very saucy spare rib.

    Like

    Posted by Averil Dean | April 10, 2012, 2:05 am
  8. “to go forth and begat … and to pro create also,” Hmmmm….

    “sack religious”… LOVE IT! But the BEST is “Our Lady of Perpechewal Birth Pains”… I’ve been rolling on the floor laughing my ass off for fifteen minutes now. The dogs ran because they thought I had gone insane!

    Once again, excellent! But it always frightens me, too, as there ARE people like this out there.

    Oh, question… I’m noticing that you frequently write, “G-d” rather than “God”… is this the ficticious writer of the emails? Or you…. Curiouser and curiouser.

    Oh, I have to agree with El Guapo, but go even a step further… this is the type of people that should be required to take birth control. Implant it deep within and make sure it’s a lifetime quantity of hormones.

    Like

    Posted by She speaks.... | April 10, 2012, 1:38 am
    • Michelle, G-d is the way this crowd would write it. i do not believe in god myself….god god god god…well – i do believe in god myself…myself is god…and nature is…and the cosmos…and animals…and atoms–shaaaddup already! (i just slapped myself) anyway, i am so glad this made you laugh. agreed re the birth control and these religious nutjobs. hey, thanks sweetheart. continue…

      Like

      Posted by barkinginthedark | April 10, 2012, 5:05 am
      • LOL… yeah, I knew you didn’t believe in god, so I was thinking that the reason for G-d was either the real reason, as it turns out, that is how those “folks” would write it. Or you chose to write it is G-d because (like me) you do not recognize a god.

        Depending on what I’m writing, sometimes I don’t capitalize, either. But most of the time I do primarily because I don’t want to have to hear about it from crazy bible thumpers.

        Like

        Posted by She speaks.... | April 10, 2012, 5:38 am
    • Michelle, me? i LOVE to hear from the thumpers…my shit is re-blogged on a site called “Before It’s News” which is FILLED with truly crazy people. conspiracy freaks, obama haters, gun nuts, end timers et al…and i love baiting them, and then telling them how hilarious their comment is. anyway, i am always glad when you tell me you get a laugh out of one of my posts. thanks. continue…

      Like

      Posted by barkinginthedark | April 10, 2012, 5:48 am
    • http://beforeitsnews.com have fun among the loonies. lemmee know what you find. continue…

      Like

      Posted by barkinginthedark | April 10, 2012, 8:17 am
  9. Snort… giggle… If only they were all so easy to spot. I think some of them developed a stern stare under their trucking caps, with their arms folded, because they’re afraid to open their mouths. Oh wait… Giggle… snort…

    Like

    Posted by Sparks In Shadow | April 10, 2012, 1:13 am
  10. Another shining example of why reproductive (and abortion) services should be as widely available as possible.
    I don’t envy your email-bag Tony.
    Great stuff, as always!

    Like

    Posted by El Guapo | April 10, 2012, 1:09 am

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