//
archives

offbeat

This category contains 62 posts

A Phone Call From Headquarters

Hello, Reince? Reince Priebus? Hey Reince – it’s Josef here, Josef Goebbels. (listens) Yeah, I know we haven’t spoken in a coon’s age – what’s it been…a month, month and a half? Time flies when you’re fucking with people’s heads eh? (listens)   Reince – Reince baby, forget the Herr shit okay…we’re just a couple … Continue reading

My VBA. I Owe it All to My Mother and Her Mah Jongg Group

Okay…I’m just another weak-willed seeker of approval – there I’ve said it, i admit it, I plead guilty and throw myself on the mercy of the court. Having now confessed to my deeply flawed character I will now say that I am flattered and thrilled in the night to have a fellow purveyor of sarcasm … Continue reading

Republican OUTRAGE! (Next Thing You Know He’ll Ask Us to Give Up One of Our Three Bentleys)

Congressional Republicans expressed outrage today at the mere whiff of the notion that President Obama will put forth a proposal to tax millionaires at the same rate as middle-class taxpayers. Said one, under the condition of anonymity, “what right has this darkie got to tell my friends that they should pay as much a percentage … Continue reading

Manscaping: Be All the Ken You Can Be

Having seen the TV ad, and realizing that this was what I had needed all along – if I was ever to be as fully manscaped as a Ken Doll – I ran home from the tanning salon, inspected my arms, armpits, legs, chest, and crotch, for any offending hints of even the appearance of … Continue reading

Midnite Trampoline, In Which Gigolo Vito La Cuenta Falls For a Client and Gets Left Holding the Pasta

My two part MusicFilm riff on Italian Cinema. Co-Starring Corinne Loraine, Valorie Armstrong…and see if you can find John Goodman. From my Sony Video EP “Don’t Nobody Move (This is a Heist),” and second CD “Under The Cover of Darkness.” Click on “continue reading” to watch both parts. Enjoy. Part One: Part Two:

Jobs?.. What Jobs? There’s Gays behind Every Bush Waiting to Jump on our Bodies

I-BLOW, or Iowans Behind Laws Outlawing Whatever, numbering some 1,000 evangelical voters strong, will be “flocking” to Des Moines Iowa Saturday for a forum to discuss what are – no doubt – the two issues uppermost in all American voters minds, namely, a woman’s right to choose, and the gay “problem.” All the Republican candidates … Continue reading