The Ballad of “Social Issues” And “Socialism” From the Conservative Point of View or: That Bernie is a Commie Pinko But, We’ll Take The Bail-Out

“Genuine equality means not treating everyone the same, but attending equally to everyone’s different needs.”
― Terry Eagleton, Why Marx Was Right

“Social issues” – “Commie” code for basic human need

Providing equal aid to all is “Socialism’s” seed

There’s just no funds for schools right now we know you understand

We need this money now for the invasions we have planned

Our roads are not that bad at all – we’ve more important goals

Just take it slower when you drive – and steer around the holes

That bridge has stood a hundred years – your wife, and kids, and truck’ll,

Be safe and sound so drive across – don’t worry ‘bout that buckle

The news is good – your child qualifies for this procedure

And we’ll accept your house in payment for the anesthesia

But the doctor that you wanted lost his license yesterday

The Family Research Council just found out that he was gay

And if a kid’s dad smoked some grass and got locked up in Folsom

It’s better than gay parents – God, that’s  too unwholesome)

And we know your water’s filled with lead – the old pipes are  filled with rust

So buy bottled water – or use a filter system – just like us

You whine that times are hard and there’s no way to make ends meet

Excuse me – but who’s keeping you from begging on the street?

You say you need a tax cut like the richest people got

But they are “job creators” and you? Well, we think not

Yes – “Citizens United” is the corporate New Deal

A license to destroy our electoral process – and to steal

You’re screaming that the money put in politics is bad

But friend it costs us millions just to run one TV ad

You protest that our money could be put to better use

Like infra-structure, schooling – but that’s playing fast and loose

With our free-market system – a Capitalist sin

You spread the wealth and G-d forbid, “Socialism,” will creep in

(But bail-outs for the banks and corporations – that’s okay)

Again, the rich create the jobs – that’s always been the way

And “trickle down”  in theory means the haves help all earn bread

But you can’t eat theory – that “trickle’s” rich folks pissing on our head

We must be ever vigilant against the likes of Marx

The Corporation matters now – not healthcare, schools, or parks

‘N it matters too rich congressmen be comfy as can be

As they attempt to rid us of Social(ist) Security

‘Cause, in suffering we find the strength to scale the highest peak

We don’t need no stinkin’ help – it only makes us weak

And The New Deal was a “Socialistic” plot by F.D.R.

A plot that all Republicans called “commie” and “bizarre”

A plot concocted by some “Socialistic” minded slobs

(Which re-built our infra-structure while creating tons of jobs)

Which gave us roads, and bridges, schools, and dams, mass transit too

And used our money on ourselves while Republicans jeered “boo”

It’s “Socialism” plain and simple – a grave mistake we’re makin’

But it bailed us out of the Great Depression – saved our eggs ‘n bacon

And now the right-wing in lock-step unites to deny help

“If we can do it on our own, you too can help yourself”

It’s not that they don’t think it right to help their fellow man

But it’s in their DNA to see it as a “Commie” plan

And Congress has a health plan that’s more generous than most

And you, whatever you  have has to go undiagnosed

And if your father went to Yale you can go there too

A “legacy” scholarship – that’s the thing for you

Two entitlements that’re Socialism for the very wealthy

But entitlements for poor folk? Why that’s just too unhealthy

Of course their father’s money bought the schooling that they had

Which helped them get the job – so if your dad’s not rich too bad

The playing field’s not level so what chance have our kids got

And to level out the field? Why, that’s a Socialistic plot!

© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2012, revised 2016.. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.