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Rick Perry announced today he’ll be opening a chain of mortuaries across Texas. “Ah got this great idea right smack in the middle of another execution, an’ ah was gonna call ‘em The RP Mortuaries,” said Perry, “but my brilliant wife said, “honey, you have to call ‘em the RIP Mortuaries, you know?…RIP? It’s perfect!” … Continue reading
Rick Perry was interviewed today as he sharpened his Bowie knife in preparation for performing surgery on his own prostate. When asked why he would do such a thing Mr. Perry said; “we Texan’s are tough and we sure as shootin’ don’t need no sissy socialistic health insurance, all I need here is a good … Continue reading
”There is no one who’s gonna be sitting on that stage who has the record of job creation I have.” –Rick Perry Typical classroom shown at right. Rick Perry announced today that applications will now be accepted for the winter semester at The Rick Perry School of Advanced Applied Pole Dancing or TRPS (also known … Continue reading
So I see where Texas Governor – and Republican Presidential hopeful – Rick Perry, who’s made his bones calling for a smaller federal government while blasting federal spending, is now whining that the federal government has been too slow to send FEMA funds to help fight the wildfires currently raging in Texas. His friend, Ron Paul, … Continue reading
Whenever I hear the words “no problem” I instinctively look up as I quickly sidestep, fully expecting to see a safe plummeting straight at my head from thirty stories above me. Either I quickly look up, or I quickly sprint away from where I’m standing because the ground is going to open up and swallow … Continue reading
From a Mitt Romney speech: “Corporations are people”. The following is a true story: The other day I had to use the rest room in a restaurant where I was dining. I chose to skip the one marked Men, and the one marked Women, and instead opted for the one marked Corporations, which I must … Continue reading
Barking In The Dark 