Rick Perry announced today he’ll be opening a chain of mortuaries across Texas. “Ah got this great idea right smack in the middle of another execution, an’ ah was gonna call ‘em The RP Mortuaries,” said Perry, “but my brilliant wife said, “honey, you have to call ‘em the RIP Mortuaries, you know?…RIP? It’s perfect!” An’ ah said “what’s the I gonna stand for – why do I want it to say Rick I. Perry? An’ she said… Perry paused for effect…“Interment…silly. Rick Interment Perry. RIP.” Perry beamed at the assembled crowd, “Huh? Is she brilliant or whut”? He then went on to elaborate, “with mah record of executions here in Texas, an’ with mah plans for Social Security, Medicare, Union Pensions, and all that dumb sissy stuff that keeps them old people alive…ah will totally be able to control the supply chain of dead folks! It’s pretty darn near a perfect business model, if ah do say so myself! Take that Mitt Romney!” When someone in the room remarked that there was a certain symmetry here, Perry said; “Of course there is. There’s lots of symmetries in Texas, an ah will be needin’ a symmetry or three to bury er- excuse me, inter – all these people.” He then went back to practicing his quick draw, his pistol twirl, and his “Presidential” look.
And, in today’s related item: in last nights Republican “debate” Perry said he was “offended” at the notion that he could be “…bought for $5,000…” Notice – he wasn’t “offended” at the notion that he could be bought at any price, but obviously a mere $5,000 jes’ ain’t enough fer this cowboy. I think Perry’s slip was showing. What do you think?
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