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Opinion

This category contains 107 posts

The Rick Perry School of Advanced Applied Pole Dancing

”There is no one who’s gonna be sitting on that stage who has the record of job creation I have.” –Rick Perry Typical classroom shown at right. Rick Perry announced today that applications will now be accepted for the winter semester at The Rick Perry School of Advanced Applied Pole Dancing or TRPS (also known … Continue reading

Cavemen at Work: Robbing Paul to Pay Perry (Plus a Related Item at the bottom)

So I see where Texas Governor – and Republican Presidential hopeful – Rick Perry, who’s made his bones calling for a smaller federal government while blasting federal spending, is now whining that the federal government has been too slow to send FEMA funds to help fight the wildfires currently raging in Texas. His friend, Ron Paul, … Continue reading

I Mean, Like in The Big Brother House?

I mean, like I can’t really like remember like what it’s like to like like someone, and maybe they like don’t like like you back? Because I mean like that’s like gotta hurt like somethin’ like fierce-like? And I mean I guess like it must’ve, but like I don’t like remember it? I mean, it’s … Continue reading

Hi-Ho Silverfish…The Klan Rides Again

Recently, at a well-secured remote ranch outside of Austin Texas in temperatures above 105 degrees – where silverfish and other insects thrive – Rick Perry pledged to America’s leading evangelical leaders that, if elected President, he would work to deny women the right to any kind of abortion, which means even in cases where a … Continue reading

No Problem (Or: Mister is that Your House that’s on Fire

Whenever I hear the words “no problem” I instinctively look up as I quickly sidestep, fully expecting to see a safe plummeting straight at my head from thirty stories above me. Either I quickly look up, or I quickly sprint away from where I’m standing because the ground is going to open up and swallow … Continue reading

Breaking News # 2. Darth Vader Saddened by Comparisons to Dick Cheney

A spokesperson for Darth Vader said today, “Mr. Vader is deeply saddened by any, and all, comparisons between him and Dick Cheney.” She went on to say, “Mr. Vader killed approximately 215 people, give or take another 20 or so, including some Jedis, and, yes – he killed Obi-wan Kenobi, Padme’, The Emperor, some Battle … Continue reading