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Whatever Happened to “I’m a Clerk?” or; Now, Here’s Our Next Contestant – Tell Us Sir, What Do You Do for a Living?


I hailed a cab at 72nd and Broadway and asked the Mobile Relocation Specialist to take me to Bloomingdale’s. The weather had turned threatening and I didn’t feel like walking even a short distance and possibly getting soaked.


Upon entering Bloomie’s I skillfully dodged the Scent Atomizer Professionals and headed for the elevator. The Vertical Movement Engineer closed the doors and we headed up. We desperately needed a new wok. At kitchen supplies a Certified Culinary Associate showed me a few woks, and after short deliberation I picked one that looked and felt good and headed for the check-out where a very nice Qualified Purchase Recordist helped me, and I was on my way.


It was now sunny out and so I decided to walk. At one corner, a group of Professional Neo-Macadam Re-Constructionists had blocked off the sidewalk and we all had to make a little detour, which is how I came upon a charming little boite with outdoor tables. Feeling a little libation was in order I sat down. The Chief Comestible Purveyor came over and I ordered a Bloody Mary. I looked over towards the bar and I saw that the Accredited Decoction Agent was using top shelf vodka to make my drink…great. The day had turned ultra –perfect, sunny, a little cool, and I had a great vantage point from which to eye the passing parade.


I watched as Authorized Progeny Care Workers wheeled their prams by me, Commissioned Coach Engineers picked up, and disgorged their passengers, Licensed Currency Accumulators collected quarters from parking meters, and people stopped to browse, and in some cases buy, various items from the many Thoroughfare Vendor Consultants in view. All in all it was quite the fascinating and engrossing panoply of people. I could have sat there for hours but, of course, I did have to get home. I asked for the check, paid, picked up my package and headed on foot uptown.


I hoped that the Audio-Visual Adjustment Proficiency Expert had come to fix the cable TV problem because I really wanted to watch the game. Fingers crossed. I got to my building and Charley our Qualified Portal Custodial Adept greeted me and told me that the AVAP Expert had come and gone. Whew! The game was on! Tonight would be good, and tomorrow was a long way off…and so was my wonderful world of Qualified Professional Freelance Idiomatic Fabrication. Ciao babies.


© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.


8 thoughts on “Whatever Happened to “I’m a Clerk?” or; Now, Here’s Our Next Contestant – Tell Us Sir, What Do You Do for a Living?

  1. I am simply a free lance domestic project manager. (Hmm, not bad, I should get business cards). But as soon as I get my hands on a clip board and wihte jacket, I’m promoting myself to “Julie McCoy, Cruise Director”.


    Posted by Nonstepmom | October 16, 2011, 10:52 pm
  2. My job title: Paper Clip Enforcer. Line ’em up my way or you’ll be staring down the barrel of my staple gun.


    Posted by Averil Dean | October 16, 2011, 2:43 pm
  3. My father-in-law has been a Fully Qualified Environmental Recycling Specialist (scrap metal merchant/junk yard owner) for decades. Now he’s fashionable, too. Great post. Good fun.


    Posted by Single Malt Monkey | October 16, 2011, 10:17 am
  4. Tony, That is good. When I started working at leber Krebs I was a messenger. I changed my title to Logistic Coordinator. I met the famous photographer Fracesco Scavullo and he asked me what I did in the office and I told him my job title. He was impressed and said Änd your so Young¨.¨


    Posted by dennismarcotte | October 15, 2011, 8:22 pm

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