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Cautionary tale, Humor, politics, satire

Another in the Series “Email From the Tea-Party” or: “Erectile” Redux

English: Newt Gingrich with a crowd in Ames, Iowa

Image via Wikipedia

I am sorry, but I just keep on hearing the word erectile in so many of our TV commershals these days that I am just all fit to be tied up. I am a growed 51 year old woman but I do not need to hear erectile this and erectile that and erectile all over the place its Unchristian. Why if Mr. Ronald Reagan was still president there would not be none of these erectiles all over the place such as I am hearing all over. When I was a young tad of a girl being home schooled we didn’t never even know this word was. And now it is. And everywhere I am listening and watching there is erectile. I had to leap over my grandchild the other day to block the TV while making loud noises such as yee yee yee hooo hoooo and like so to keep her from hearing this word that I about threw my liver against my abdoman to not let her hear this dang word. And I don’t want any of my other 18 grandchildren or even my own 12 growed up children to hear this erectile word neither. What is it about this word that it has to be on every 15 minutes on every channel and espeshally on my favorite channels the Home Shopping Networks where you can buy a real diamond ring for $59.99 which is why it’s my favorite – but there is that durn word every other minute. Even on Hannity and O’Reilly who have all the fair and balansed news and are the best and G-d fearing men. Is the world gone plum loonie? Have they put something in the cheeze whizz that I don’t know? Is it because all these queer gays write all this stuff because they are constantly masterbating and formicating all the time as I can tell and all those things they do with them fruits and vegetabels? I am hoping that this word will all end when Mr. Newt Gingrich or Mr. Mutt Romney or Mr. Ron Paul is president and there will be no more of this erectile stuff coming out of my TV at all hours and when the kids are listening and watching also -which is why I am voting for which of them runs against this Muslin. I also like that Mr. Tim Polenta to bad he is not. And its really to bad that the one I like the most best that is Mr. Rick Sanitarium is so far behind that I cant see how he could be the one thuogh he is the most sacred of them all and most devowt as me for sure and there for sure would not be any of this erectile stuff if he was the one definately. But now I see that he is comming with a serge and so maybe he can win and then that for sure will put an end to all the erectiles. And there it is on the home shopping network again – AGAIN! Erectile, erecti – huh? What? Direct dial? Direct dial? Is that what I keep hearing? Direct dial? Did I break my liver for nothing there? DIRECT DIAL!!?…Well…that is different. I am all for direct dial, espeshally on the Home Shopping Networks. Anyhoo, I say we smart people got to vote this Muslin Osama out and get a good G-d fearing white man in that there white house which is why they call it a white house in the firstest place am I right or what?

Direct dial…sheesh…dam hearing aids. Can you blame me?

Can you?

 

 

© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.

Discussion

29 thoughts on “Another in the Series “Email From the Tea-Party” or: “Erectile” Redux

  1. So hilarious! What can we expect from a gaggle of swinging dicks?

    Like

    Posted by lisahgolden | February 11, 2012, 3:35 am
  2. I love a bit of absurdism, and you pull it off every time.

    Yes, I said pull it off. Heh.

    Like

    Posted by the urban misanthropist | February 9, 2012, 9:46 pm
  3. ………damn Muslins, then I see that Michelle Muslin doing push-ups on TV. They’ll be lettin them in the ginnasium next………….

    Like

    Posted by Single Malt Monkey | February 9, 2012, 5:19 pm
  4. Pretty funny – are you sure it is real?

    Like

    Posted by Tom | February 9, 2012, 3:10 pm
  5. (Ah hahaha….thinking back on some of your posts, I imagine the pages light up when you hit spell check ! )

    18 grandchildren…Muslin….’white house’…..a great laugh to start the day!

    Like

    Posted by MJ, Nonstepmom | February 9, 2012, 2:25 pm
  6. I’m hoping that after she dropped this letter in the mailbox, her tea-party bumper sticker emblazoned gov’t funded electric wheelchair blew a gasket and shot her off a cliff at 70 miles an hour.
    No? Too many of her for it to make a difference?
    Pity…

    by the way, not nice to eavesdrop on peoples dinner conversations in the bible belt. Good funny, pointed stuff, as always!

    Like

    Posted by El Guapo | February 9, 2012, 1:40 pm
  7. I had an amazing time in Thailand. Loved the street food. Promise to read this in the morning.

    Like

    Posted by worrywarts-guide-to-weight-sex-and-marriage | February 9, 2012, 4:43 am
  8. Okay no cheese whizz for me anymore

    Like

    Posted by V. Lyn | February 9, 2012, 4:06 am
  9. HAHAHAHA. Holy G-d Tony. This is too damned funny. Sorry. Durned funny.
    Mutt Romney, Rick Sanitarium, Muslin. I feel like Don, giggling like I’ve been smoking something.
    You’re a diamond in the rough… and I’d pay far more than $59.95 for ‘ya
    May the Baby Jesus bless you and keep you safe.

    Like

    Posted by Rachael Black | February 9, 2012, 3:41 am
  10. Thanks for the laugh! Good one. I do hope that poor woman gets her hearing aid fixed before she misses out on any good Home Shopping Network deals. Dang-a-Kangaroo! Ya know?

    Like

    Posted by SusanWritesPrecise | February 9, 2012, 3:34 am
  11. Reblogged this on Don in Massachusetts and commented:
    You need a good laugh, you’ve got to read this…
    https://barkinginthedark.wordpress.com

    Like

    Posted by Don in Massachusetts | February 9, 2012, 2:26 am
  12. This is a great post. I was laughing so hard, my eyes were watering, and kept losing the spot, and had to keep going back. I’m still laughing like I was stoned out of my mind.

    You hit this one out of the ballpark…

    Like

    Posted by Don in Massachusetts | February 9, 2012, 2:23 am
  13. Erectile, Erectile, Erectile, Erectile, Erectile, Erectile!!!! There, I said it. Ahhhhh, yes. The dumbing down of society.

    LOL… I’ll bet your spell-checker goes nuts on this post.

    Like

    Posted by She speaks.... | February 9, 2012, 2:19 am

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