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commentary, Humor, Opinion, poem of a sort

The Ballad of Republican Priorities and Philosophy Or: As You Can See Below the Poem, as Sung by Groucho in Horsefeathers, “I’m Against It.”

Marx brothers loc

Image via Wikipedia

Well – it surely ain’t the poor

And it ain’t the working class

And it sure ain’t women’s issues

‘Cause they’re just pieces of ass

And it sure ain’t jobs for people

And it isn’t Medicare

And it ain’t re-building cities

Or infra-structure anywhere

And it isn’t getting money

Out of our elections

Nor is it taxing anyone with

The right complexion or connections

And it’s not about the muzzling

Of their friends the Corporations

Or closing off-shore loopholes

Or passing regulations

And they’re sure not for the planet

Global warming’s just a “hoax”

And it’s not a level playing field

That thought can give them strokes

And they sure are not for science

They don’t really care for stem cells

Nor is it air pollution

(Where they live there’s none of them smells)

And they’re not for Social Security

‘Cause they’re not for helping old folks

Or for food stamps or nutrition

Or for heating oil for cold folks

Or to pay for worker retraining

By cuts to defense spending

Or to end our world policing

(Now Iran, ‘cause Iraq’s ending)

And they don’t much like our unions

Especially gays who wed

Or for separating church and state

That’s cause for dropping dead

Or for keeping people in their homes

By foreclosure prevention

Or for helping out the unemployed

By benefits extension

But they claim they’re for “recovery”

And cry that it’s “class warfare”

But they’ve no clue what it’s like

When you ain’t got money for fare

So what exactly is it that

Republicans are for

Well, privatizing all they can

And a lovely Iranian war

And drilling for more oil

Republican presidential candidates are picture...

Image via Wikipedia

And killing Roe v. Wade

And pushing prayer in school

And killing Medicaid

For stopping people voting if

They’ve no photo I.D.

(Poor people may not have a car

Or passports surprisingly)

Basically they’re all pro-“No”

To anything Barack says

And for whatever they can do

To seriously block “Prez”

From making any progress

And us too by extension

They sense their power waning

And so they want dissension

Confusion, obfuscation

The system just to fail

So they can point the finger

And by fucking us prevail

But really what it’s down to

Is for them there’s nothing bigger

Then to hijack our democracy

And get rid of “that nigger.”

And now below watch the Marx Brothers video from their great movie “Horse Feathers” that explains the Republicans in the clearest way possible:




© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2012]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.


34 thoughts on “The Ballad of Republican Priorities and Philosophy Or: As You Can See Below the Poem, as Sung by Groucho in Horsefeathers, “I’m Against It.”

  1. This seems to sum them up perfectly. Well done, Tony.


    Posted by Single Malt Monkey | February 9, 2012, 5:13 pm
  2. You got it absolutely right …the most important thing for this breed of repubs is to get that black man out of office…no matter the expense to the country morally or economically.


    Posted by V. Lyn | February 8, 2012, 4:59 am
  3. Brilliant. For people who use the words “freedom” and “liberty” as much as they do, Republicans sure are hot for taking away the rights of others.


    Posted by lisahgolden | February 8, 2012, 2:46 am
  4. Amazing. I do so love Groucho Marx.


    Posted by Red | February 7, 2012, 9:53 pm
  5. Still laughing Tony! Not at your version of the words -that brings a sardonic smile- but at the scene from Horsefeathers, one of my fave Marx Bros films. Just watched Duck Soup a few weeks ago, another fave, which also contains so many references to politics and war that it still holds up.

    Your piece was snide, funny, informative and you positively picked the best music to add to your lyrics.

    Tony, it is such a pleasure to read your posts. Wit, musical knowledge, an appreciation for the classics, whether art, literature, pop culture or film, you find a way to acknowledge them. Then devilishly include these into your pieces, whether ballads or essays.
    Have to say that you and Randy Newman are the only two artists that can get away with using the word ‘nigger’ to make a serious point, and not an offensive one.

    Fave stanza:
    So what exactly is it that
    Republicans are for
    Well, privatizing all they can
    And a lovely Iranian war

    Hooray for Captain Powers!


    Posted by Rachael Black | February 7, 2012, 7:04 pm
  6. You’ve summed it up quite nicely….and topped it with the perfect video.


    Posted by winsomebella | February 7, 2012, 6:20 pm
  7. I am not sure what Republicans are for either. At the moment, social issues are the least of my concerns but I understand why both parties would like voters to keep the debate there.
    My bigger concern is where the money will come from for all these programs. We are $15 tillion in debt, we have $40 trillion in unfunded liabilities and we are running a $trillion defecit. Those numbers are hard to wrap your head around so consider the following example. I will use the current GDP and translate into numbers that are easier to grasp.
    Our fiscal situation is like an family household that earns $70,000 and has a mortgage of $150,000. That works, but if that household is spending an additional $100,000 per year, it does not. Furthermore, that household mortgage will balloon to $400,000 in the future. It is a mathematical certainty that the US is going to fail if we don’t deal with our financial problem. Neither party has an agenda to deal with it. We need to cut and some of the things will hurt. There will be suffering either way. In my opinion orderly suffering is better than chaos.


    Posted by Tom | February 7, 2012, 4:41 pm
    • Tom, thanks for the comment, but how about before we cut funding for people in need we cut most defense spending since we have more weaponry than the next 8 or 9 nations combined…and we stop spending all our money on policing the world – that’s why there’s an Interpol. Benjamin Disraeli said “there are lies, damn lies, and statistics” i say yes, we must get our fiscal house in order – quick – just don’t understand why “social issues” must be ones to burn on the altar of “sacrifice” and are not a greater concern for you…what good is a nice car if you’re too sick to drive it? also disagree somewhat that both parties are equally to blame in not having an agenda – republicans have been saying “no” to whatever proposals have been made re this…and remember -they’re the ones who pushed through Citizen’s United (what an obscene joke of a name ) anyway, always enjoy hearing your take. continue…


      Posted by barkinginthedark | February 7, 2012, 10:20 pm
      • Tony, If you have not figured it out, I love banter. My oldest brother is just like you and I have had these debates 1000 times with him. Of 6 kids, he is the only Democrat and the only one in my family that I enjoy discussing politics with. I refuse to associate with either party any longer.

        Anyway, I agree on military. I believe in defense but not at the expense of our personal liberties. Military spending should be cut/slashed as well. We don’t need to occupy other countries and tell them how to live their lives. One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter. I suppose our forefathers were terrorists as well according to the neocons.

        My reference to “social issues” we directed at things like gay marriage, pot, display of the 10 commandments etc. They don’t cost anything and I could care less about any of them (I am torn on abortion). Religion is a private matter between an individual and their god. If you want to smoke pot, why should I care? Why should I care who you sleep with as long as it is consensual? Unfortunately those are sensitive issues for many and both parties want to debate those issues and take our eye off the ball. FWIW, my math was wrong. I had to rush on my first post. I will correct it if I use the example in the future. Sorry.

        Keep up the good work. I have convinced my oldest brother to vote for Dennis Kucinich (write in). I am voting for Ron Paul. I am close to convincing my most Republican brother to vote Ron Paul as well as my brother-in-law. If we all convince 1 person not to vote for the DNC or RNC we all win.


        Posted by Tom | February 8, 2012, 4:42 am
    • Tom, re abortion…will you raise the unwanted child of a rape? just curious. and you keep doing that…it’s NOT both parties who want to debate this settled law – it’s just the one party, i’ll leave it to you to guess which one that is. anyway, thanks for the comment as always. continue…


      Posted by barkinginthedark | February 8, 2012, 6:05 am
      • To answer your question…it depends. However, I don’t understand why always the fringe examples…Are you suggesting that you would be ok if only abortions from rape and incest were legal? Anyway, this is not a black and white issue but I am far from passionate regarding the choices of others that have almost no impact on me. Also, it is not just Republicans that prey on the divided opinions. You and I just fell for it and got off the more important big picture. If the US fails, pregnant women will have fewer options than they do today. Thanks Tony.


        Posted by Tom | February 8, 2012, 3:28 pm
    • Tom, this is a VERY big question. the abortion issue ie a person’s right to choose what they do with their own body is representative of a fundamental issue and goes to the very essence of freedom absent any interference from religion…separation of church and state i believe it’s called. to answer your question i am neither for or against abortion, i AM for a person’s right to choose. again – a fundamental issue as to whether we are a nation governed by religious principals or by settled law. and i’m curious as to what it “depends” on ( Q. are you going to raise the unwanted child of a rape? to put a finer point on it – a child whose mother you do not know.) thanks for the comment. also, if the US fails it will be because of the huge transfer of money from the 99% to the 1% largely the doing of the Republican party. may i suggest if you really want a way out of our mess that you don’t waste your vote, albeit an admirable “vote of conscience” but ultimately impotent, and instead, vote to give Obama a Democratic Congress, and you will see corp. tax loopholes closed, tax cut for the rich repealed, military spending cut, more banking regulations implemented, infra-structure re-building leading to many more jobs created, etc. just my humble opinion. continue…


      Posted by barkinginthedark | February 8, 2012, 9:26 pm
      • The gray area with abortion is not with the mother (I get that part), the gray area is when life begins. While I would not make a big fuss about a stranger in some random state making this decision, I can have an intellectually honest opinion. I have a hard time aligning a right to terminate a pregnancy when that child is capable of living on their own yet if that baby were born and the mother killed the baby, she would go to jail. That does not add up for me. Sorry. It is not separation of church and state but separation of civil and uncivil.

        I don’t know what I would do if my wife, daughter, sister, etc were raped. I would accept responsibility for the life of any child of a relative regardless of the situation (maybe even a friend/neighbor) but probably not a stranger (just being honest). At the same time, I spend so much time in community service that my wife complains. I am not cold. I do my part.

        Regarding the finances and the “1%”… The misnomer is that Obama and a Democratic Congress (mostly proud 1%ers) would make the difference. Think self service. The Federal Reserve Banking system has ruined the economic system. Very few understansd and comprehand the complications and consequences of The Fed’s role in our economy. I happen to work for a “too big to fail” brokerage firm. I wrote my congressman in 2008 and warned him that if he voted for the bailout (my firm included), that I would never vote Republican again and I will not. I had been such a dependable vote for them. I have even been approached, several times, about getting into politics and running – as a REPUBLICAN. The Bush family and the 2008 bailout woke me up. Do the Bushes have banking ties in their family?

        Voting Obama will not solve this. In the last 50 years there have been 2 presidents interested in neutering the Fed. 1 – JFK, who was shot and his agenda reverersed 180 degrees immediately (George Bush head of CIA). 2 – Ronald Reagan, who was shot as well. Although he survived, his primary agenda, which he harped on for 15 years prior, was immediately vacated (George Bush VP and family friends with Hinkley’s). Coincidence? RFK and Ross Perot discussed this and now Ron Paul. The real money people will not let them see the white house. We all owe it to ourselves, our kids and grandkids to learn all we can about the Fed. Basically, they are a private banking cartel that controls our money. Right now, in the interest of protecting the 1% they are in the throes of competitive devaluation of our currency. They want to strategically devalue without completely collapsing us, Europe and Japan or creating massive inflation in China. Why? to protect the 1%. The 1% owns assets that appreicate with inflation. The 99% is in debt, their wages stagnant and their dollar is losing value daily. Check your grocery bill, energy, doctor and so on. You will not see it in a gov’t number like CPI as they can simply change the formula. But, it is inflation that is killing the middle class and it is the Fed that holds the gun and pulls the trigger – literally and figuratively.


        Posted by Tom | February 9, 2012, 3:01 pm
    • Tom, i repeat;”may i suggest if you really want a way out of our mess that you don’t waste your vote, albeit an admirable “vote of conscience” but ultimately impotent, and instead, vote to give Obama a Democratic Congress, and you will see corp. tax loopholes closed, tax cut for the rich repealed, military spending cut, more banking regulations implemented, infra-structure re-building leading to many more jobs created, etc. just my humble opinion. thanks for the comment, continue…


      Posted by barkinginthedark | February 9, 2012, 10:35 pm
  8. Wow, I dont think you missed a thing …. and the Marx brothers, you know how to deliver a smile !!!!


    Posted by MJ, Nonstepmom | February 7, 2012, 4:32 pm
  9. This is their mantra, and they seem to add to it as time goes by. The Marx Brothers video was spot on. This is another one of your great posts…


    Posted by Don in Massachusetts | February 7, 2012, 2:51 pm
  10. Bravo! Once again, you have outdone yourself. Humorously true. Thank you, Tony!


    Posted by She speaks.... | February 7, 2012, 2:34 pm
  11. love it! the ballad was dead on and the video was a very nice touch

    i enjoy the creativity with which you express political viewpoints

    thank you…


    Posted by Beth, just being me | February 7, 2012, 2:32 pm
  12. Dude – greatest Republican manifesto ever.
    Right now, some Republican lackey is printing this out and hanging it in the Republican congressional cloakroom.
    The lackey’s only sorrow is that there is no word “Eskimo” for him to highlight.
    (Anyone? Anyone?)

    Hilarious and incisive as always. Thanks.


    Posted by El Guapo | February 7, 2012, 1:48 pm
  13. Once again, the nail has been firmly smote upon its pate, hit on its head and left for dead. Thanks, Tony!


    Posted by Carole Monferdini | February 7, 2012, 12:51 pm
  14. I want to say, “What is it the republicans are for? I don’t know, but whatever it is – I’m against it.” But I’m not as rigid as they are.

    Now ask me if I’d vote for one if he/she ever says something I agree with. Well, I’m not an idiot. If they weren’t dangerous, they wouldn’t align themselves with the republican party. Right?

    Another good one, Tony. Thank you.


    Posted by Sparks In Shadow | February 7, 2012, 8:53 am

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