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Humor, NEWS, politics, satire, Uncategorized, writing

RAND PAUL ACCUSED OF PLAGIARISM

Senator Rand Paul told reporters today that when he wrote the line “We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, must repeal Obamacare…” he had no idea that all of that sentence with the exception of the last three words was from The United States Constitution.

                         

Official portrait of United States Senator (R-KY).

Official portrait of United States Senator (R-KY). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When informed of that fact he said, “Am I supposed to know every word of that document?” When a reporter mentioned that it was perhaps the single, most familiar line written in our country’s history the Senator responded, “Look, are we supposed to be aware of everything that ever happened or was ever written in our long 329 year history?” When another reporter told him that our country is 237 years old dating from 1776 Senator Paul asked, “Why from 1776, isn’t it quite arbitrary of you to pick that year?” When he was informed that it was in 1776 that colonial economies grew into 13 small, independent farming economies, which joined together to form the United States of America, Paul said, “I have so much on my plate that needs to be done for my constituents in Kentucky that there is precious little time to study much history. I know we must be vigilant lest we suffer another attack such as the one Germany launched against us at Pearl Harbor.” When a reporter told him that, in fact, it was the Japanese who bombed us at Pearl Harbor, the Senator replied, “Germany, Japan, what’s the difference, they were both our enemies then. Now they make the world’s best cars – I drive their Volvo – so what does history matter? What is important is how we go forward from here.” When another reporter reminded the Senator of Edward Burke’s famous quote “Those who don’t know history are destined to repeat it,” Paul said, “Is he in Congress – because I’ve never seen him if he is so how famous could he be?” When another reporter said, “Mr. Burke was an Irish political philosopher, Whig politician and statesman who is often regarded as the father of modern conservatism.” Senator Paul said, “I wonder if  he  would have known who bombed Pearl Harbor?” When informed that Mr. Burke died in 1797 the Senator said, “I rest my case.”

Another reporter said, “Before, in reference to the cars that Germany and Japan produce, you said, “I drive their Volvo.” What does that have to do with Germany or Japan? Volvo is a Swedish-made car.” Paul replied, “Sweden, Germany, again, what’s the difference?”

A reporter in the rear raised his hand, “Senator Paul, I’d like to return to the plagiarism charges being made against you. If I may, I would like to read from a magazine article you wrote for The Tea Party Times You wrote; I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the fact that we, the Tea Party of America will prevail.”  He continued, “Sir, with all due respect, are you aware that all of that line that you wrote except for the last eight words are from Reverend Martin Luther King’s famous “I have a dream” speech?”

Senator Paul replied, “You know, it’s such a good line that I wondered as I was writing it if I’d heard it somewhere before.” He excused himself to give a speech on geopolitics in relation to history and our Constitution.


© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.

Discussion

6 thoughts on “RAND PAUL ACCUSED OF PLAGIARISM

  1. As you always do, you capture the ass dead on target. Thank you for this wonderful piece of writing

    Like

    Posted by Valentine Logar | November 9, 2013, 7:19 pm
  2. Another douche bag who didn’t fall far from the tree…

    Like

    Posted by A Pondering Mind | November 8, 2013, 6:27 am
  3. As always, incredible writing, Tony!!! Love it! Sadly, there’s probably a bit more truth to this than there should be.

    Like

    Posted by Michelle | November 6, 2013, 10:51 pm

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