God, through Her press office, today issued a statement from Her unknown vacation retreat somewhere in one of the Universes, stating: “I would like to make it abundantly clear that I have never met, or spoken with, either Ted Cruz, Rick Santorum, Ben Carson or, for that matter, this Ralph Reed person – nor do I wish to.
From what I have heard they do not approve of some of my best work, i.e., the gay community, who I think add so much colour to an otherwise drab creation.”
She then added; “It would be a great shame to further elevate bigots such as these to any office, let alone that of The Presidency of The United States of America.”
And how dare they wave those stupid signs like i hate fags? I’ve a good mind to have my friend Clarence sue their sorry asses for defamation. It would be great fun watching Darrow eat them alive – but why on my green earth reveal myself to such moronic swine anyway? My wife agrees.
And if these so-called “Christians” ever came in contact with my hippie friend Jesus they’d crucify him all over again! These “evangelical” hatemongers almost make me regret creating people.
She then went back to rolling a doobie.
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