Donald Trump was today awarded the Wally – the highest honor the Ku Klux Klan can bestow on a non-Southern speaking white man.
Said a Klan spokesman who preferred to remain anonymous; “Dis’ heah is duh hahest awawad dat duh Ku Klux Klay-an kan bestoah upahn a non-speakin’ South’ren poisson. Mistuh Trump is now an’ heretofowah hencefowath to be known heahabouts as a Pre-mee-uh Hah Whaht Kluck.”
In endorsing Trump David Duke, the former Klu Klux Klan grand wizard, added ” I hope he does everything we hope he will do.”
In accepting the award – which is named in honor of the four-time ex-Governor of Alabama George Wallace – Trump said; “This is yuge! I want to humbly thank The Klan on behalf of myself and my family, and especially my…er — Ah mean mah bee-yoo-tee-ful an’ tremendous wahfe Melania who, as all y’all may know, is from Southeren Slovenia. So Ah ay-am a Southerenuh at hawt.
“Dis he-ah Wally awawad – an’ Ah ay-um tremendously honored to git dis which we all know is named fow a great American – an me now bein’ a Pre-mee-uh Hah Whaht Kluck is jes’ incredibly an’ unbelievably fabulous y’all as it repruhsents mah success in attainin’ the pinnacle of, in dis heah case, bigotry an’ ignorance – an’ dis heah is whut the Trump bray-and is all about…success at any prahce…all y’all.”
The the neo-Nazi website Daily Stormer said “Heil Donald Trump – the Ultimate Savior.” The website had earlier endorsed Mr. Trump after he called for deporting 11 million Mexican immigrants and, in a twist on his slogan, trumpeted “Make America White Again.”
The un-named Klan spokesman added – through his mask; “We aw so patriotical prow-ad of Mistuh Trump an’ havin’ him as dis’ ye-ah’s Wally winnuh is a yuge feathuh in ou-ah hoods.”
Trump added: “Y’all know an’ Ah do declay-ah dat Ah have always said dat ah jes’ love dis heah Klan outfits, dey are fabulous – whut chink laundry does yo-ah sheets? Ah have ta use dem in mah hotels y’all. An’ dese tremendous an’ fabulously unbelievab;y terrific bonfahrs all ya’ll laht up dat boin up duh naht sky. It’s terrific! Raht folks? Huh…Raht? Whem Ah ay-um raht Ah ay-um raht. No one does it lahk all y’all – no one.”
As his son Donald Jr. – beaming with pride – looked on at his side, Trump gave his, by now familiar, two thumbs up sign.
“So…vote for me an’ Ah will make America white er – Ah mean – whaht agin…all y’all”
© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2015, revised 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Wow he’s gonna have a busy agenda: building the Berlin wall in Mexico, deporting Mexicans, chinese, drafting everyone again at 18, separating Puerto Rico, Samoans and so on from the USA,
building Packards and Ford Esels again, moving The Pentagon to Salt Lake City, making slavery legal again, attacking North Vietnam and North Korea, aiming ICBMs to Moscow and Peking and refueling and loading with H bombs are float of B-52’s…
a “yuge” agenda… ‘yuge”. thanks C. continue…