First, let me say that I am certain that many men who will read this piece will disagree with it strongly. They are, in all likelihood, men who do not know how to truly love a woman – although they think they do.
I have long believed that a man who loves women in ways beyond sex and who sees them as equals – or betters – is a far better man than the men who think they are stronger than women. The men who mistakenly think that women are the “weaker sex.” Women are stronger than men – get over it Mr. Macho – and far more resilient.
There are men’s men and women’s men, and women know the difference between the two. A man’s man is a man who feels most comfortable in the company of other men. And, to take it a step further may possibly even feel a bit uncomfortable being the only man among a few women. A woman’s man, on the other hand, while he can hang with his guy pals, is a man who, while appreciating women for that wonderful difference between them, can also hang with the “fairer sex” without having sex uppermost in his reptilian mind.
A woman’s man truly loves women. Trusts and respects women. Values their opinions, their viewpoints, their skill set. A woman’s man knows that most women are stronger than he is. I am not talking about lifting heavy objects, I am talking about the ability to bear great pain – and great difficulty. Women, in general, have a way of getting on with it. When a woman gets a cold she goes about her day as usual. When a man gets a head cold he takes to his bed for a week – and she brings him soup. And that somewhat frivolous example does not at all begin to approach all the many ways in which women are stronger than men. Men, in general, also complain far more than women do. Let’s not forget – women give birth for Chrissakes!
Most women can easily tell when they are in the company of a man who thinks he is the superior of the two. And, equally as easy, most women can tell when they are in the company of a man who appreciates the distaff point of view – and sees them as an equal – or better.
Make no mistake; a man who loves women is not at all unmindful of their physical beauty, far from it – he adores them for the beautiful creatures they are. He loves their graceful beauty and always enjoys seducing or being seduced. And, he will turn into Mr. Cave-man McMacho in bed when he senses she wants him to. But, at the same time, he accords them the respect they deserve for their intellect, their opinions, their intuition, their great empathy, their myriad abilities and their innate grace under pressure. As anyone who has experienced the pain of life knows it is so often the woman who must comfort the man from that reservoir of great strength she possesses deep within her being.
Nor am I suggesting that merely because a person happens to be a woman should they automatically deserve anyone’s approbation – man or woman. There are many men and women who would get no respect from me, whose opinion would not matter to me in the least, and who I would no sooner listen to than I would listen to an avocado.
I am fortunate to have a good number of male friends who I can say are “men’s men.” But, they are men who I have rarely, if ever, heard complain about the hand they are playing and who possess what I would call a well-developed feminine side. They recognize how much better they are as people owing to the marvelous women in their life. They are not afraid to appear vulnerable – and, in that willingness to appear momentarily weak there is strength.
I believe that we each, men and women alike, possess a masculine side and a feminine side. Some men possess heightened traits considered to belong to a well-developed feminine side – receptivity, empathy, sharing, nurturing – and some women possess heightened traits considered to belong to a well-developed masculine side – independence, discipline, logic, focus. In each of us one of those sides is more dominant than the other, but the both sides are present in each of us in some percentage.
I personally am drawn to women who exhibit a well-developed masculine side and men who exhibit a well-developed feminine side. This is not to be confused with women who appear masculine and men who appear effeminate. Most of the really physically appealing women – and men – I have met in my long life had in them highly developed traits of the opposite sex.
And, this all gets back to the title of this piece; Men Who Love Women. I am of the opinion that the men who really love women, and the men that women want to love them, are men who possess within themselves those traits considered feminine. Men, who while lusting after them for their physical beauty, do not see women as essentially different, or see them as a threat to their masculinity. And here, I’m talking about you guys who, while driving a car, feel less of a man accepting directions from a woman, or who can’t take suggestions from a woman, or who discount a smart woman’s opinion, or who feel threatened by a strong woman. Men who won’t wash a dish.
Me, personally? For my part I’d like to see women run the whole show while we men take a back seat. We men who truly love and admire you women will be there whenever you need us for whatever you need from us. Me? I’ll gladly do the shopping and cooking and you save the world – because we men have certainly made a fine mess of it up to now.
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