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satire

FETUSES MUST PAY TAXES!

By an overwhelming margin of 92 to 8 the all-male Republican-led Senate today passed the bill mandating that all fetuses must file a tax return. Every Republican Senator voted for the bill while the 8 female Democratic Senators from New York, California, Massachusetts, Hawaii and Vermont voted nay. The Democratic members were then arrested as the Honorable Reverend Senator Billy Bob Johnny Joe Cletus Jr. II, the Senate Majority leader from Mississippi, gaveled the session to a close.

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One week earlier, the Republican-led House had passed the bill by a vote of 351 to 84. The 84 Democratic Representatives, 61 of whom are women, who voted against the bill were also arrested as the Republican members waved crosses while solemnly chanting “the fetus won’t defeat us.” When asked by a daring reporter, “how can a fetus fill out a tax form?” Representative Pastor Harley Ray Flense (R) of Swarming Hole, Alabama, replied; “with their hands, stupid.” Police shackled and arrested the reporter as onlookers alternated between cheering and solemnly chanting; “the fetus won’t defeat us.”

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President Donald J. Trump III took some precious time out from judging the annual Miss American Teen-age Mother Pageant to tweet; “My grandpa would be thriled.” Then, continuing the time-worn Trump tradition, he headed back to the contestant’s dressing room to check if their swimsuits met the pageant’s “guidelines for skimpiness.”

In a related item, Amazon today began selling bright red TrumpWear wifebeaters sporting the logo “Senator Reverend Cletus says we have to Tax each fetus,” and “Baby, do not cheat us, Pay your taxes fetus!”

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Congress will next take up the bill mandating female circumcision.

© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2022. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.

Discussion

6 thoughts on “FETUSES MUST PAY TAXES!

  1. All too horrifyingly likely.

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by leggypeggy | May 8, 2022, 5:45 pm
  2. I hate to ask this because I think I know the answer. Are those photos for real? Please tell me they’re not for real.

    Liked by 2 people

    Posted by Liz Gauffreau | May 8, 2022, 4:52 pm
    • Liz, as far as I can tell, they mostly are very sadly real. Maybe the “Brian” “Moran” one might be a doctored photo, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t. These are not smart people, but they do know how to hate – just how the Republicans want them. Thanks, stay well, and continue…

      Liked by 1 person

      Posted by barkinginthedark | May 8, 2022, 11:33 pm
  3. Yes!
    Vaginas will be stitched and fetuses forced to to file the F1034 form to the I.R.S, aye aye Sir!…

    Liked by 2 people

    Posted by transtime | May 8, 2022, 4:31 pm

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