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Humor, poem of a sort, politics

Part 2: The Ballad of Newt (in Honor of his “Surge”)

Newt Gingrich

Image via Wikipedia

Because of his “surge” I still have the urge

To do some more Nit Goongrich trashin’

His new campaign stops

Are just Photo-ops

For his book so this poseur can cash in

Old Newtie’s rooters (Limbaugh leisure suiters)

And others who’ve been Fox-TV’d

All turn out and look

Happy you sign their book

Funny – they either can’t or don’t read

But what do you care, that’s not why you’re there

Callista’s gems need to be paid for

You’re lower than roaches

You’re roaches with brooches

You are the thing we have Raid for

Hey Newtie, get out and shake your booty

You’ve got

A lot of crap to flog

Your best shot

At winning something cutie

Is first place as County Fair prize hog

You vulture

You serial adult’rer

(Don’t mean to insult this noble bird)

You rupture

You intelligence insulter

You’re good as the bullshit that’s your word

Those jerks at your book launch, they must really be staunch

To shake the hand of such a fleecer

But as soon as they leave go

Straight to Home Depot

For industrial strength grade de-greaser

Of ethics devoid, you’re a large hemorrhoid

You’re the rectum of every right-winger

You can’t novocaine us

We “feel” you’re an anus

It’s our pleasure to give you the finger

You’re the right’s great white hope, smoother than soap

Whatever your words are they quote ‘em

Oooh Newt you’re, it seems,

A Tea-Bagger’s wet dreams

A ginourmously large looming scrotum

© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.


12 thoughts on “Part 2: The Ballad of Newt (in Honor of his “Surge”)

  1. I aspire to be such a wordsmith !


    Posted by MJ, Nonstepmom | November 17, 2011, 3:19 am
  2. Another fine entry in the Political Poem book. I would have enjoyed it more if I didn’t have the words “Newt” and S”Surge” in my brain when I got to the description of his scrotum.


    Posted by El Guapo | November 16, 2011, 9:25 pm
  3. On my feet applauding! Roaches with brooches. . . . Oh, beautiful.


    Posted by Averil Dean | November 16, 2011, 3:52 pm
  4. Your descriptions are the best political descriptions out there . . . “A ginourmously large looming scrotum.” That fits Newt to a “tea.”


    Posted by Miss Demure Restraint | November 16, 2011, 3:09 am
  5. Limbaugh leisure suiters!!!!!

    You have such a way with words. Newt. Another gift to comics. I saw him once at Old Ebbitt’s Grill in D.C. if it weren’t for the table full of Republicans with whom I brunched, I would have enjoyed tipping his tea into his lap to help him cool his large, looming scrotum.


    Posted by lisahgolden | November 16, 2011, 2:01 am

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