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Republicans to “Create” Perfect Candidate, and – They’ve Got a Name for “It”

The GOP reached out to their partners today in an effort to find the perfect candidate to run against President Obama in this fall’s election. Pooling their PAC money to fund a joint effort between their partners Saudi Arabia, and Germany, the GOP have tasked the two leading eugenics laboratories in these countries to create … Continue reading

Mitt Romney: I’ll Have the Cheesey Gri- er or: The Art of the Flip- Flop. Or; if I Said That, This is What I Really Meant…For Now. Unless I Change My Mind. I Think. Maybe.

Republican Primary candidate Mitt Romney made an unscheduled campaign stop yesterday in New Blemish Alabama. The New Blemish Daily Morning Movement, the town’s paper of record reports that Mr. Romney stopped for breakfast, some “pressing the flesh,” and an impromptu “town hall” meeting at New Blemish’s favorite dining destination, Phil and Darla’s Hits ‘n Runs … Continue reading

The Ballad of the 3 Stooges plus One or: Let’s Hear it For The GOP Candidates – These are Their Best and Brightest

Four Republican knobs Who don’t address jobs Hey – as wedge it has little importance Compared to glory hallelujah Sticking probes up your hoohah Religion, gay rights and abortions   Absent of plan Slick to a man (Okay – except for Ron Paul) They keep accusing Obama Of their imaginary drama Shit don’t even play … Continue reading

The Ballad of Rick Santorum’s or: Sex in the Time of Santorum

In light of Rick Santorum’s views on the Parkland Protesters here are his views on that most sacrilegious of human acts…sex. Santorum once had some momentum His base thought that God must’ve sent ‘im Tho’ no birth control Means more dopes in the fold Who couldn’t buy IQ’s or rent ‘em   This man with … Continue reading

I think I’ll do the mashed potatoes (Does This Make Me a Pervert?)

Personally, I think it is perverse that so many diners in restaurants are now doing their food. This phraseology may not bother you in the least. Actually, I’m fairly sure you don’t give it a second thought. I, on the other hand, am driven around the bend whenever I hear someone say to a server … Continue reading

The Ballad of the War Drums Again or: Whatever Happened to Teddy Roosevelt’s GOP?

They’re beating the war drums again Can you hear? Boom, boom, boom, Boom, boom, and boom, Faint in the distance Tho’ now growing near Boom, boom, boOM, BOOM, BOOM, AND BOOM, And now it’s Iran Who’s the new bogey man And these oil whores who urge we attack Are the same ones who blamed The … Continue reading