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Cautionary tale, Humor, Presidential Politics, writing


It grieves and saddens me no end that the fate of our beloved country, as well as that of all of the so-called “free world” (that’s funny), lies in the hands of some people who have been called the “undecideds.” It seems to me that these “undecideds” are people who profess that they just can’t decide whether to vote for a totally unqualified lying sack of shit who, as it happens, is a rich white  man – or a thoughtful, intelligent, proven, calm person, who, to their chagrin, is either a female or a (gasp) Jewish Socialist.

Image result for caricatures of dunces

It also seems to me that these “undecideds” are people who, if they were hit over the head with a heavy mallet, couldn’t even decide whether they were hit over the head with a heavy mallet or not – unless, of course,  they were hit over the head by either that female or that (gasp) Jewish Socialist.


mallet (Photo credit: pictonym)

Barking in the Dark has uncovered a sample multiple choice questionnaire sent by the Republican Party to these “undecideds.”


Q. Would you rather be hit over the head with a heavy mallet by a stupid narcissistic wealthy white man, a smart black man, a female, or a (gasp) Jewish Socialist?

a. It doesn’t matter.

b. I’m thinking it over.

c. What does narcissistic mean?

d. The wealthy white man.


Q. Who, in your opinion, would be more likely to score a direct hit onto your skull with a heavy mallet – a rich out-of touch asshole of a wealthy white man, a smart black man, a female. or a (gasp) Jewish Socialist?

a. This is an interesting question – I’ll have to give it some thought also.

b. Can I choose what kind of heavy mallet?

c. Can I wear my trucker cap?

d. The wealthy white man.

Idiots cartoons, Idiots cartoon, funny, Idiots picture, Idiots pictures, Idiots image, Idiots images, Idiots illustration, Idiots illustrations

Q. Would you consider being hit over the head with a heavy mallet more than one time?

a. If it didn’t hurt – I would.

b. How many times more?

c. What does consider mean?

d. If I was being hit over the head by a wealthy white man – why not?


Thank you for your participation in this exercise. People such as you are invaluable assets to The Republican Party.

So…there you have it friends. We can all rest comfortably in our beds at night secure in the knowledge that these “undecideds” will all make the right choice in the voting booth come this November. After all, when we see panels of these “undecideds” on our TV’s we can clearly see the  yuge  effort they are putting in to make this  very  tough choice. Their deeply furrowed brows crown the puzzled insipid looks on their faces. Faces that reveal the strain they are experiencing in deciphering this unfathomable enigma.

If  only  there were some  clear-cut differences between the candidates why,  then  of  course  they could make this  incredibly difficult  choice…but, alas – to their utter puzzlement – there aren’t any.

Unless, of course, you count one candidate being an unaware self-absorbed moronic narcissistic lying con man bully, one being a female former New York Senator and ex-Secretary of State, and the other being a Senator who’s a (gasp) Jewish Socialist.

Cartoon: Illiterate Moron (medium) by cartertoons tagged shirt,illiterate,moron,guys



© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2012, revised 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.


11 thoughts on “THE “UNDECIDEDS”

  1. You have “Undecideds” on this ?! Whilst the rest of the world see this as an intelligence test ?! We can’t believe the Trumpster is getting anywhere near but it seems that your Rep party is in a similar disarray to our Labour Party, though they are trying to make a fist of it. We’re now debating the benefits and the responsibilities of an effective Opposition. The fact that Sanders has sprung up is great. It stops the Clinton roadshow from getting too smug and is a reassuring foil to watching Trump on our screens.
    Having said that, if it comes to a Trump v Clinton “Thriller in Manilla” there’s going to be some twitching sphincters around the world come October time.


    Posted by Single Malt Monkey | March 25, 2016, 6:03 am
    • Al, any “intelligence test” in this country is fated to be failed by way too many morons – who also happen to vote – which is unfortunate for the rest of us. yes, believe it, there are “undecideds” here. amazing eh? thanx for the comment – and keep that single malt handy. 🙂 continue…


      Posted by barkinginthedark | March 25, 2016, 12:12 pm
  2. I don’t care that he’s wealth and white, what I care about is that he’s narcissistic and irrational.


    Posted by allthoughtswork | March 24, 2016, 2:21 pm
  3. The ” political ” comedians have been making fun of the ” undecideds ” since 2012. But I can understand the dilemma of the of the ” undecideds ” in this Primaries. For Republicans, it’s a choice between Trump orCruz, and for Dems, between Clinton and Sanders. It would be scratch – one’s – head funny at the general elections, though.


    Posted by renxkyoko | March 24, 2016, 11:23 am
  4. You know what the real issue is?
    There’s no decision, as I saw once this words sprayed painted in the walls of my beloved San Francisco: “if voting could change anything, it would be illegal”…


    Posted by transtime | March 24, 2016, 11:08 am

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