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Cautionary tale, Humor, NEWS, Presidential Politics, satire, writing


Herr Trump, or should Ich be callink you Herr Drumpf…

Vee hadt zem you dummkopf! Alles uff zese morons in your pocket vere! Aber, vass eine really lousy scheisse vould-be diktator you haff turned out to be. Bitte, let me giff to you der first lesson in dictatorink ja? Dictatorink vun-oh-vun! Ja?



Und you haff on zis screwed der pooch. Zat ist it in eine teeny tiny shell das is nutsy. At diktatorink you are ein miserable failure. Neffer in alles uff meine years of dictatorink, und Ich knows wass Ich am schprechen about here mister – neffer haff Ich in meine life zeen zuch eine schmuck at beink adored. Ich knew Mussolini und you are no Mussolini! Beliefe me! Und ven Ich says beliefe me, me you can beliefe!

Goebbels ist pukink out all his kishkas in das toilet ven he iss zeeink you und your shtupid orange monkey face zayink zese ridiculous sings, und looking like eine ignorant moron mitt on your head a bird’s nest und mittout eine zingle zaving grace. You vouldn’t know how to exterminate ein Chew, much less six million Chews, efen iff zey begged you for der Zyclone B shower to be giffink zem.

In your zo big mouth you are haffink both your feet. You zay you can be Presidential? HAH! You can’t efen be ein catcher uff der cutesy little frankfurter puppy doggies. People do not like you! Zo, Ich ask you; how in der name uff ein Kaiser roll mitt zem itty bitty little schwartzer seeds zat in your teeth get shtuck can you effer be ein dictator? You zay you are ein vinner? Bullscheisse! You are at dictatorink ein miserable loser!

Das only tink you haff right is der media und das immikrants you are blamink! Aber, das is alles! Das rest is fahrshtinkiner! You haff eefen let zis virus kill deadt die dumkopfs in your own shtupid base. You are ein idioten. Und trinkink chloroquine you are? Vas eine schmuck!

Ich vouldn’t let you dictate at ein school uff das little kinder. Four year olds right srough you zey could see mittout nein effort. Und zey vould – mitt alles der itsy bitsy teensy weensy hertz und brains – hate you! You are on ziss whole planet das most transparently unlikeable perzon uff effer! Und uff ziss Ich knows. Eine diktator you vanna be? Gib mir eine break! Me, Goebbels und Göring sit around laffink at you. Ve are callink you Hair Donalt.


Effrey uzzer vednesday ve boys get togezzer ofer ein nice brunch uff brats und beer, Mussolini has alvays ein cannoli, und vee schprech of zose good times ven diktatorink ve vass doink. Me, Vlad, Caligula, ach, zere vass eine diktator – Benito, Pol Pot – you know, das guys…und unanimous ve are zat an embarrassment you are to der gute name of diktatorink.

Cartoon Movement


Und, vass is mitt zis vinink? You keep on mitt das vinink like ein little boy who hass his wee wee pee pee in ein zipper caught! Vass is das? I am haffink to be hearink you vine like Eva ven a new couch she is vanting! Shtop! Aber, you can’t shtop – canst you? You are vass der Chew Maher schprechens you are – ein “viny little bitch!”


You should back to Trump tower go und be das dictator of das elevators und das escalators und das men’s rooms. You are too easily teased to be immune to das kriticism from your enemies mitt das oranche skin zat iss zo thin. Und, if blowink us all up you vould make to happen because your feelinks get hurt, good zat vould not be! You vill for sure killt deadt get us alles! Und, ven you are killt dead you cannot diktate shit!

David Horsey: Trump gets caught with his hand in the cookie jar ...

Herr Trump, ven it is dictatorink zat iss das topic, und zis ist meine zpeciality, from me you can take it – you zsuck! You haff no shot – eine dictator must be respected! Must be beliefed! Must be trusted! Und, sehr important uff alles – must be luffed! Luffed!



Und, zuch hopes Ich had…

Image result for trump orange cartoonsLol, Adolf…

Oh…Ich almozt forgot…Heil myself!


© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.



  1. johnabt2@gmail.com
    You do know the Nsational Socialists Party were Leftists (Socialists) and not right wing, right?


    Posted by John | April 23, 2020, 7:49 pm
  2. His ‘flight of ideas’ went sailing over my head, and kept on going. I do know what its like to deal a manic person(s).


    Posted by A Pondering Mind | August 5, 2016, 6:59 pm
  3. Great likeness who put the two assholes together, like brothers born at the hips…


    Posted by A Pondering Mind | August 4, 2016, 7:01 pm
  4. I think this is such fun reading. I especially like calling him “Hair Trump”


    Posted by Linda Kraus | August 4, 2016, 5:24 pm
  5. “Really Pathetic – The people who put him there.”

    So anyone who disagrees with you is really pathetic?

    I can remember a time in America when we didn’t think people were pathetic or hate them simply because they took a different position. People like you really are making the world a worse place.


    Posted by onereasonableperson | August 4, 2016, 3:06 pm
    • you sound like a person who would think it “pathetic” to criticize Hitler. if you can not see the historical parallels that connect Trump to Hitler i.e. railing against immigrants – in this case the Muslims are the Jews – and the media, who, of course, are to blame for shining a light on the two thus exposing their despicable ideas to the public – and the hate-filled rhetoric – if you can not see these parallels then you are the pathetic one – and a moral coward who has no right to call yourself “reasonable”. There is a time to be “reasonable” and a time to call out a liar, a fraud, an ignorant narcissistic would-be despot. now is that time. This petty criminal’s power grab must be nipped in the bud NOW!


      Posted by barkinginthedark | August 4, 2016, 3:24 pm
      • So your main issue is that you don’t like people who spew “hate-filled rhetoric?”

        Read your comment. Is it not filled with “hate-filled rhetoric?”

        Do you not like yourself either or do you not see that you’re filled with hate?


        Posted by onereasonableperson | August 4, 2016, 3:33 pm
      • Let me ask you a simple question. are you voting for Donald Trump?


        Posted by barkinginthedark | August 4, 2016, 3:39 pm
      • To me, this isn’t about Trump or anything else besides people like you pumping out hateful rhetoric because you … don’t like hateful rhetoric?!?


        Posted by onereasonableperson | August 4, 2016, 3:40 pm
      • let me understand your tortured logic. so, by your logic, no one should have criticized or satirized Hitler because that would be hateful rhetoric? i ask you again…will you be voting for Donald J. Trump?


        Posted by barkinginthedark | August 4, 2016, 3:46 pm
      • your tortured logic is amusing…but you do sound as dangerous as Trump. read the Daily Stormer lately?


        Posted by barkinginthedark | August 4, 2016, 3:44 pm
      • There are intelligent and reasonable people who support Trump. There are intelligent and reasonable people who support Clinton.

        I tend to think anyone who says that, “Well, I see something that everyone else just doesn’t see and anyone who refused to see it that way I see it is dangerous” as well, kind of delusional. Definitely unreasonable.

        I enjoy conversing with reasonable people with all kinds of different opinions. You are not one of those people.



        Posted by onereasonableperson | August 4, 2016, 3:50 pm
      • I am certain that by and large there are NOT too many “intelligent and reasonable people who support Trump.” statistics show that his base is MOSTLY UNEDUCATED. Anyway, that aside – as far as you are concerned the “reasonable” thing to do here is just to sit quietly by and allow this unreasonable person to pollute our country because is wouldn’t be “reasonable” to point out what a dangerous travesty he is – to us, and to the world? The logic here is quite tortured. And, your comment that “there are intelligent and reasonable people who support Trump.” is mostly untenable and unrelated to fact. I suppose we can all conclude then from your statement noting there are many “intelligent and reasonable people who support Trump.” that the masses who fill his rallies and chant out their hate are “intelligent and reasonable,” whilst being goaded on by the “intelligent and reasonable” man who yells; “I’d like to punch him in the face… I’ll tell you that.”
        One can NOT affect a stance of moral superiority and claim to be “reasonable’ when one avoids the obvious facts of a situation. I would have voted for Sanders but I am proud to say I will vote for Hillary Clinton. And, again – since you evade the question – so again I ask; are you voting for Trump? Are you ashamed to answer this question? We’d all like to know.


        Posted by barkinginthedark | August 4, 2016, 4:20 pm
  6. That first cartoon panel sums up what I’ve been saying for years: Trump doesn’t bother me in and of himself. He’s an asshole. The world is full of assholes. What bothers me is when a large portion of the country I live in decides they want everyone to live under his control. That fuckin’ terrifies me.


    Posted by allthoughtswork | August 4, 2016, 12:36 pm
  7. Well, what will we do now with Bushe’s “New World Order”?…


    Posted by transtime | August 4, 2016, 12:11 pm

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