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Cautionary tale, Humor, Presidential Politics, satire, writing

BELIEVE ME!

Many people have told me – and I have no reason not to believe them – that Barack Hussein Obama is selling our nuclear secrets to North Korea, Our nuclear secrets! Believe me! He’s selling our secrets to North Korea! To Kim Jong Un! North Korea…our nuclear secrets! That’s what I’ve heard from all these people. Believe me! These people know…they know…they know. Believe me!

I’ve also heard from many, many sources that if we elect crooked Hillary her economic policies will bankrupt us. Bankrupt us! Believe me – she will bankrupt us. Her economic policies will do that – bankrupt us. Believe me! They will. And, by the way, I’ve no reason not to trust these sources…no reason. They are tremendous sources. Tremendous. Believe me. These are tremendously smart people. Very smart. Believe me they are. Very. Bankrupt us, that’s what she’ll do.

And, even on the internet they know that Barack Hussein Obama and crooked Hillary Clinton created ISIS! Believe me! This is an undeniably proven fact that they created ISIS…They created it! They created it! Crooked Hillary and Barack Hussein Obama they created ISIS. It’s a fact…Believe me! It’s a fact.

And, don’t listen to what the lying media says. They’re liars…liars! I am very Presidential. Very. Believe me I can be the most Presidential ever. Ever. There are very few people who can be as presidential as me. Very few. Believe me! And, I have words…good words…very Presidential words. Believe me folks, believe me.

Let me tell you – and you can believe me on this because it’s true – you know, I hear things. I hear things, and many people who know know that I know far more than any of our Generals about the terrorist threat that we are faced with. Many people. Believe me! I know far more. Far more. I’ve said this – and it’s true – I alone can keep us safe from these terrorists. I alone! Believe me! I alone. I know this. Believe me.

And, I will do more for the African American community than anyone has ever done…ever! Believe me. Ever! More than Martin Luther King ever did! Much, much more. I mean he didn’t do half as much as I will do. Not half as much. I will be there for my good friends in the African American community. Because I care about my African Americans…Believe me…I care. I care…Believe me I care.

And, we will build a wall. Believe me…we will build a wall. And Mexico will pay for it. Mexico will pay…believe me they will pay.Oh, they will pay. Believe me.

And, my friends, I’d like to talk about my tax plan; my tax plan will benefit everyone. Everyone. My tax plan…my tax plan is good…incredibly good. Believe me! I would like to have my tax plan – and this tax plan – this tremendous tax plan…you’ll love this plan and I want this tax plan for you. Believe me. I want this plan for you.

And we will not let anyone take our guns away. Not crooked Hillary, not anyone! Believe me…no one will take our guns away. No one. Believe me…we will have guns – and lots of them. No one will take them away. No one.

Let me tell you – I will be the greatest President of all time. Of all time. Believe me. I will make America great again. Great again. Believe me. We will make America great again. We will. But you have to elect me so I can make America great again. You have to! It will be tremendous. Believe me.

And the Muslims…they’re all against our way of life and they will be deported. All of them…all 3.3 million of them! I will have them deported. I have the plan all ready to go. A tremendous plan…all ready to go. And it’s tremendous. Believe me.

Hey – I love this crowd. You people are the greatest. I mean my people are the most incredibly tremendous people in this country. In the world. Right? And, you are the largest crowd ever assembled to hear a Presidential candidate in history. The largest. In history. Ever. History. Believe me! Believe me! And I love how enthusiastic you are…it’s incredible. Incredible.

And don’t believe anyone who says that the women don’t love me. They love me, Believe me – the women love me!

All my people have told me – and I know this is true…that the election is definitely rigged. It’s rigged! They have told me this…it is rigged, people. Rigged! Believe me – it’s rigged! That’s the only reason that I can lose – the only reason. Believe me. It’s rigged. And, if I lose you’ll know why…remember, I’m telling you now – and you can believe me when I say this; it’s rigged! And you can believe me!

Believe me!

 

© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

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About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.

Discussion

15 thoughts on “BELIEVE ME!

  1. Was going to say “Nailed it” but renxkyoko beat me to it.

    Like

    Posted by PiedType | August 19, 2016, 1:15 am
  2. Very good Tony xx

    Like

    Posted by jannaatess@aol.com | August 18, 2016, 11:00 pm
  3. I’m actually bored with this guy. I don’t even bother to read the headlines anymore because it’s just a broken record playing some version of “America in the Throes of Early Alzheimer’s; No Other Possible Explanation for GOP Found by Lead Scientists.”

    Like

    Posted by allthoughtswork | August 18, 2016, 8:36 pm
  4. A laugh a minute post. Believe me! Believe me! Trump will wipe ISIS with his magic wand! Believe me Tony. Believe me!

    Like

    Posted by A Pondering Mind | August 18, 2016, 1:30 pm
  5. You nailed it ! ! ! That’s the way he speaks , lol.

    By the way, there’s a name for this…..PALILIA, an involuntary repetition of words.

    Like

    Posted by renxkyoko | August 18, 2016, 11:44 am

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