I AM REALLY OUTRAGED! (MORE EMAIL FROM THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT)

I have two teenage sons who are just…how should I put it…just starting to “feel” things. You know – down “there?” I don’t know how else to put it, but I think you all know what I mean. Thay are both reel good boys, polite and verry well groomed as they should be because they both spend what seems like hours in the bathroom. (we dont really know why it takes so long to comb there hair.)

Now we got gays getting wed! What kind of a sicko world is this become? Anyway now on TV I keep heering that thares a woman they can go to that they can “use” when they have certain “urjes” if you know what I mean. First off just the idea that they can heer this sort of thing on TV is outrajous. Second off this woman is probabley some libaral bra burning hussey!

I am fed up with all this newfangled pro-gressive/libaral permissive-anything-goes-altitude about things we never used to even wisper about. I asked my hubby about this the other day and he is also real upset about this and he is reel smart and he suggested we throw the TV in the lake. Wile I always lissen to my hubby in all things and allways do as he says I do not want to not be able to see my shows such as The Reel Housewives of Beverley Hills the Fox news Cops Duck Dinasty and others.

But, back to my two boys – I screwed up my courage and told Hubby that I cant possibly throw the TV in the lake so I dont eggsactly know how I can prevent the boys from heering this terrible commershal for this woman they can go to for “you-know-what.” By the by – why isn’t there a law that keeps this kind of stuff from getting into young heads? And how can any woman allow this kind of I suppose – I don’t know what to call it – “personnal business” to be so public? Isnt she not ashamed? Doesnt she not care that the whole world knows she is a Jezebel?

Cheese ‘n crackers – There it is – again!

I need to know who allows this woman to advertise her “wares” in such an un-G-dly blatant manner? Who can we sue? This is why we must elect Mr Donald Trump as President. He would not never allow this here Alice person to be all over the TV with this blasphemy.

See Alice? See Alice? I don’t think so! Not on my watch!

Mrs. Caleb Groon
Smyrna, Ga.

P.S. and that Commando-in-Cheif deal last night just prooved that Mr Donald Trump reely looked way more Prezidenchal and was way more commando-in-cheifish because (duh) wile crooked Hillery got bogged down in dull facts everything he said was way more “General.” Which is why we should call him General Trump.