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Cautionary tale, commentary, Humor, Presidential Politics, satire, writing


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It grieves and saddens me no end that the fate of our beloved country, as well as that of all of the so-called “free world” (that’s funny) lies in the hands of some people who have been called the “undecideds.” It seems to me that these “undecideds” must be  profoundly ignorant people since they profess that they just can’t decide whether to vote for a totally unqualified lying sack of shit who, as it happens, is a wealthy white  man – or a thoughtful, intelligent, proven, calm person, who, to their chagrin, is a female and also a (gasp) Clinton.

It also seems to me that these “undecideds” are people who, if they were hit over the head with a heavy mallet, couldn’t even decide whether they were hit over the head with a heavy mallet or not – unless, of course,  they were hit over the head by that female who is also a (gasp) Clinton.

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Barking in the Dark has uncovered a sample multiple choice questionnaire sent by the Republican Party to these “undecideds.”

Q. Would you rather be hit over the head with a heavy mallet by a stupid narcissistic  wealthy white man, a smart black man, or a female who is also a Clinton?

a. It doesn’t matter.

b. I’m thinking it over.

c. What does narcissistic mean?

d. The wealthy white man.

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Q. Who, in your opinion, would be more likely to score a direct hit onto your skull with a heavy mallet – a rich out-of touch asshole of a wealthy white man, a smart black man, or a female – who is also a Clinton?

a. This is an interesting question – I’ll have to give it some thought also.

b. Can I choose what kind of heavy mallet?

c. Can I wear my trucker cap?

d. The wealthy white man.

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Q. Would you consider being hit over the head with a heavy mallet more than one time?

a. If it didn’t hurt – I would.

b. How many times more?

c. What does consider mean?

d. If I was being hit over the head by a wealthy white man – why not?

If you even bothered to answer any of these questions you are an invaluable asset (this means you are important) to The Republican Party. Thank you.

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So…there you have it friends. We can all rest comfortably in our beds at night secure in the knowledge that these “undecideds” will all make the right choice in the voting booth come this November.

After all, when we see panels of these “undecideds” on our TV’s we can clearly see the  yuge  effort they are putting in to make this  very  tough choice. Their deeply furrowed brows crown the puzzled insipid looks on their faces. Faces that reveal the strain they are experiencing in deciphering this unfathomable enigma.

If  only – only –  there were some  clear-cut differences between the candidates why then  of  course  they could make this  incredibly difficult  choice…but, alas – to their utter puzzlement – there aren’t any.

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Unless, of course, you count one candidate being an unaware, sociopathic, self-absorbed, puerile, moronic, narcissistic, lying con man bully, presently being sued for fraud by thousands of people – and the other being a female former New York Senator and ex-Secretary of State who has for 35 years been a tireless advocate for the rights of women, children, and the poor and middle class. Yet

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© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2012, revised 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.


10 thoughts on “THE “UNDECIDEDS”

  1. The undecided, Trumps basket of deplorables, in which Clinton was right in calling out, the dumb ass shit heads…


    Posted by A Pondering Mind | October 4, 2016, 1:53 pm
  2. It’s my nature to try to understand people who perplex me. I’ve been physically ill because I get the different levels of bad and/or stupid that make up Trump’s supporters. But ‘undecided’ adds a whole ‘nother level of wtf to what I don’t understand. I do know that it means they don’t care about social justice. Other than that, my brain just hurts.

    I also wonder why some folks, who say they do care about social justice, think this is the right election for the “I have to vote my concscience and you can’t make me vote for Hillary and killing people” third party vote. Don’t they care about the people the republicans will kill and hurt with an evil and stupid figurehead approving everything they want to push down our throats? The idiot can’t make president-level decisions for himself–that’s why the worst among them are backing him.

    If we could elect Jill Stein, that would be the ‘to hell with the establishment, let’s try something new’ vote I’d be willing to make, but the majority of left-leaning voters won’t go there with me. In this election I’m for Hillary and being loud enough, while she’s in office, to make her keep her promises. Well, make her keep as many promises as the republican congress will allow, if progressives don’t turn out for the down-ballot races.

    Sorry for the long comment. I’ve been saying all this to myself for so long, that I had to let it out.

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by Sparks In Shadow | October 4, 2016, 1:45 pm
  3. Gad, it’s so frustrating, isn’t it ?


    Posted by renxkyoko | October 4, 2016, 11:45 am

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