THE “UNDECIDEDS”

From the New York Times; Today’s America is so deeply polarized that it can be hard to imagine there are people who are really not sure whether they want to vote for President Trump or his Democratic rival.

It grieves and saddens me no end that the fate of our beloved country, as well as that of all of the so-called “free world”- and that phrase has long made me shake my head – anyway, our fate seems to be in the hands of some people who have been called “the undecideds.” And. it seems to me that these “undecideds” have to be  profoundly ignorant people since they profess that they just can’t decide whether to vote for a totally unqualified sociopathic lying sack of shit who has the blood of close to 200,000 people and counting on his grubby fat little hands, and as it happens, is a wealthy white  man – or a caring, thoughtful, intelligent, proven, calm person, who, to their chagrin, is a Democrat. 

It also seems to me that these “undecideds” are people who, if they were hit over the head with a heavy mallet, couldn’t even decide whether they were hit over the head with a heavy mallet or not – unless, of course,  they were hit over the head by that female ex-prosecutor who is also (gasp) black.

Well, Barking in the Dark has uncovered a sample secret multiple choice questionnaire sent by the Republican Party to these “undecideds.”

Q. Would you rather be hit over the head with a heavy mallet by a stupid narcissistic  wealthy white man, a smart black man, or a female who is also (gasp) black?

a. It doesn’t matter.

b. I’m thinking it over.

c. What does narcissistic mean?

d. The wealthy white man.

Q. Who, in your opinion, would be more likely to score a direct hit onto your skull with a heavy mallet – a rich out-of touch asshole of a wealthy white man, a smart black man, or a female – who is still also (gasp) black?

a. This is an interesting question – I’ll have to give it some thought also.

b. Can I choose what kind of heavy mallet?

c. Can I wear my trucker cap?

d. The wealthy white man.

Q. Would you consider being hit over the head with a heavy mallet more than one time?

a. If it didn’t hurt – I would.

b. How many times more?

c. What does consider mean?

d. If I was being hit over the head by a wealthy white man – why not?

If you even bothered to answer any of these questions you are an invaluable asset (this means you are important) to The Republican Party. Thank you.

So…there you have it friends. We can all rest comfortably in our beds at night secure in the knowledge that these “undecideds” will all make the right choice in the voting booth come this November.

After all, when we see panels of these “undecideds” on our TV’s we can clearly see the enormous effort they are putting in to make this  very  tough choice. Their deeply furrowed brows crown faces that reveal the strain they are experiencing in deciphering this unfathomable enigma.

If  only – only –  there were some  clear-cut differences between the candidates why then  of  course  they could make this  incredibly difficult  choice…but, alas – to their utter puzzlement – there aren’t any.

Unless, of course, you count one candidate as being an unaware, grifting, sociopathic, self-absorbed, indecent, uncaring, mean, vindictive, puerile, ignorant, narcissistic, pathological liar and con man bully, presently being sued for fraud by thousands of people, and who, as of July of this year, had told 20,055 proven lies.   A self-styled “deal maker” who “managed” the impossible feat of bankrupting five casinos and one Manhattan hotel, and whose “managerial style” has now managed to turn most of the world against us.  Not Russia though. This is someone who has presided over the single most corrupt administration in our history, and who has a long list of “associates” who have been indicted and/or arrested. The latest being Trump‘s former chief strategist, Steve Bannon, who gloated on video over the millions stolen in a “build the wall” scam.

And, the other being a man with 36 years as a U.S. senator. A man who was elected to the U.S. Senate at age 29 – becoming the sixth-youngest senator in American history – who was a longtime member and eventually chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. and a two-term vice president of this country along-side Barack Obama. A man who is a decent, caring man period.

Yes, which of these men to vote for is such a difficult decision. 

© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2012, revised 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.