I JUST RECEIVED THIS EMAIL FROM STEPHEN MILLER

To the ignorant, and no doubt Hispanic and Jew-loving, Barking in the Dark,

I resent these stupid comparisons of myself to the great Joseph Goebbels. Firstly, Joseph Goebbels, though undoubtedly unparalleled in greatness, stood only 5′ 5.” I, also similar in my stature in unparalleled greatness, am a tall 5′ 10.”

Secondly, I serve at the pleasure of a man, Donald J. Trump, who hasn’t, as yet, rounded up the filthy Jews – as Goebbels’s great fuhrer Adolf Hitler did. I have counseled my great leader to only round up the filthy Hispanics. Which he agrees is a very good thing since the spics do not contribute one dollar to our re-election campaign. Also Jews, Hispanics…There is a difference, and you, or anyone – even an uneducated smelly half-breed mongrel like a janitor in a high school – must admit to this fact. 

Thirdly, and this is a most important distinction between Herr Goebbels, a man I hold in awe-filled reverence, and yours truly; I would never, never, marry a half Jewish woman as he did! 

So, Mr. Barking, or whatever the hell your name is, while I follow the precepts and playbook of Joseph Goebbels, my hero since childhood and a man I truly admire, I, Stephen Miller, am in no way ever to be compared to him.

Verstehst du?

Below, I have included a wonderful picture of myself in a lighter moment. I believe I had just told myself a joke about children in cages.

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