Rick Perry

This tag is associated with 23 posts

The Ballad of Rick Perry (With apologies to Cain, Bachmann, Ryan, Santorum, Cantor, et al

Hey Ricky – does it trouble you You’re twice as dumb as W? Your “brain” can barely grasp Game Boy by Sega But brains is not your “thing” because Half your head is filled with gauze You’ve got the IQ of a rutabaga We love the things that make you fun Like jogging with a … Continue reading

We’re Saved…Trump and Perry, Two of America’s Finest Minds Together at Last

Two of America’s finest minds met the other evening, and both agreed to tackle one of the foremost questions facing this country right now. Donald Trump and Rick Perry were in solid agreement that President Barack Obama’s birth certificate maybe, just could be, might actually, you know, really be not real…definitely maybe. They agreed that … Continue reading

And, (drumroll), The Co-Winners of This Year’s SCHMUCKFACE Award are… (Plus an email from the Tea Party below)

(continuing drumroll)  …U.S. Federal Judge Sharon Lovelace Blackburn (an amazingly appropriate name), and the perpetual state of ignorance – Alabama (ba-da-bomp). The prize committee of the Sociopathic, Criminally Hateful, Mainly Untouched by Common Kindness, For Anyone Clearly Exotic award, or: The Schmuckface, has decided, due to their stance against Hispanics residing in the state of … Continue reading

Rick Perry to Bring Back Guillotine in Texas

Rick Perry, Governor of Texas, and leading Republican candidate for President in 2012, has decided to bring back the guillotine as a combination execution/entertainment for the people of Texas. “Ah want to do something nice for all mah constituents an ah got the idea the other night while watching that movie Quills on The Fox … Continue reading

Republicans: “Less Regulations”, and My Tuna Salad Sandwich

Eagerly looking forward to the big game this afternoon, I went to the fridge and got out the tuna salad that my good wife Jane had made yesterday afternoon. We had gone to the market together to shop for groceries yesterday morning, and I had remarked that “boy, I’m really in the mood to have … Continue reading

Alabama Man Sees Baby Jesus in His Swiss Melt

Dateline: New Blemish, Alabama From the New Blemish Daily Morning Movement, Mr. Wilfred T. Flense, a prominent member of the New Blemish branch of The Tea Party, told this reporter yesterday that the baby Jesus had appeared to him in his Swiss melt, “I was havin’ my lunch over at Phil and Darla’s Hits ‘n … Continue reading