Rick Perry

This tag is associated with 23 posts

Rick Perry to Open Chain of Mortuaries across Texas (and a related item)

Rick Perry announced today he’ll be opening a chain of mortuaries across Texas. “Ah got this great idea right smack in the middle of another execution, an’ ah was gonna call ‘em The RP Mortuaries,” said Perry, “but my brilliant wife said, “honey, you have to call ‘em the RIP Mortuaries, you know?…RIP? It’s perfect!” … Continue reading

The Rick Perry School of Advanced Applied Pole Dancing

”There is no one who’s gonna be sitting on that stage who has the record of job creation I have.” –Rick Perry Typical classroom shown at right. Rick Perry announced today that applications will now be accepted for the winter semester at The Rick Perry School of Advanced Applied Pole Dancing or TRPS (also known … Continue reading

Cavemen at Work: Robbing Paul to Pay Perry (Plus a Related Item at the bottom)

So I see where Texas Governor – and Republican Presidential hopeful – Rick Perry, who’s made his bones calling for a smaller federal government while blasting federal spending, is now whining that the federal government has been too slow to send FEMA funds to help fight the wildfires currently raging in Texas. His friend, Ron Paul, … Continue reading

Hi-Ho Silverfish…The Klan Rides Again

Recently, at a well-secured remote ranch outside of Austin Texas in temperatures above 105 degrees – where silverfish and other insects thrive – Rick Perry pledged to America’s leading evangelical leaders that, if elected President, he would work to deny women the right to any kind of abortion, which means even in cases where a … Continue reading

Breaking News # 3. God charged in alleged NFL fixing scandal

On the virtual eve of a brand new season, God was charged today with allegedly fixing the outcomes of the last forty years worth of games played in the National Football League. According to her attorney, God “at no time had anything to do with any of the players who, when games were over, would … Continue reading

# 6 In The Satirical Series Emails From The Tea Party (Angry Email Response To One of My Blogs)

I read your blog thing about Lookking For a Job. If I ever saw you you punk you would get a shotgun blast to the balls. That’s why we need people like Rick Perry and Michelle Bachman to get rid of socialist commie pinko smart guy cappochina drinkers like you who probably went to some … Continue reading