Barking In The Dark

So here comes old Newt A real fucking beaut! Abandoned a wife who had cancer This fat piece of crap With gums all a-flap Now postures as if he has answers Oh, he can tell you how To cheat on your frau And he knows about shopping at Tiff’nys A liar, a letch A windbag, … Continue reading »

Hello, Reince? Reince Priebus? Hey Reince – it’s Josef here, Josef Goebbels. (listens) Yeah, I know we haven’t spoken in a coon’s age – what’s it been…a month, month and a half? Time flies when you’re fucking with people’s heads eh? (listens)   Reince – Reince baby, forget the Herr shit okay…we’re just a couple … Continue reading »

He awoke at the crack of noon and lurched to the small bathroom, still groggy from seeing three clients yesterday, and then last nights great cartoon marathon – eight hours of Dillyman and Gloober – I mean, how could he not watch that? And all eight hours of it was great too. He didn’t want … Continue reading »

I have sent out literally hundreds of thousands , maybe millions, maybe hundreds of millions, of emails and I have yet to hear back from ANY of you ingrates. Not a blessed single damn one of you… none, nada, zero, zilch! Not one single, simple, solitary, friggin’ peep. Now – I can understand such spiteful … Continue reading »

Adolf Hitler announced today through his Minister of Propaganda Josef Goebbels, that he would be entering the Republican Presidential Primaries. Herr Goebbels was quoted as saying; “What with the economic situation in America caused by those two schmucks Cheney and Bush, we feel it’s the perfect sturm – und the drang also – to jump … Continue reading »

Rick Perry announced today he’ll be opening a chain of mortuaries across Texas. “Ah got this great idea right smack in the middle of another execution, an’ ah was gonna call ‘em The RP Mortuaries,” said Perry, “but my brilliant wife said, “honey, you have to call ‘em the RIP Mortuaries, you know?…RIP? It’s perfect!” … Continue reading »

I mean, like I can’t really like remember like what it’s like to like like someone, and maybe they like don’t like like you back? Because I mean like that’s like gotta hurt like somethin’ like fierce-like? And I mean I guess like it must’ve, but like I don’t like remember it? I mean, it’s … Continue reading »

I live in Polk County thats in Central Florida. In my neck of the woods I seen a lot of reptiles alligator, lizard, snake, you name it I seen it. I aint never seen no alligator didnt know how to be no alligator or no lizard the same – or niether no snake. So what … Continue reading »