Elvis Presley's Grannie Awards (Photo credit: Jonathan D. Blundell)
I was ironing and starching my hubbies under wares the other day last week while he was out teachin’ the grandkids to shoot squirrels because he says the starchy stiffness of his shorts reminds him of when he was a teen-ager and I heared on the TV that they was giving awards out to grannies and so we definatly wanted to see that for sure. So we tuned into the Granny Awards show on the TV and I just want to say that I do not know why they think these people, and I use this word loosy, are grannies when they are a lot of G-dless gays in make-up and whatnot pransing around screaming at the top of there lungs.
This is tipical gay proper gander to list this as a granny award show to get people to tune it in and be turned gay. We watched a hole half hour and if these people are grannies then I am not. That’s all I just wanted to say about it except then there is this lady person who they showed and they said they was gaga about her but alls I saw was someone who looked like she had a pair of drapes over her face as far as I can see. And is she some kind of Inglish lady person? And then they said they had someone from mars – and his name was Bruno. Now I did not just fall off the turnip truck and you can call me dum but I am sure that there is no germans on mars and we don’t have nobody from mars here also unless we now do. My hubbie didn’t believe he was from mars neether. Althuogh this fella did a lot of yelling and jumping around like he didn’t like our air so I guess maybe he is. And I assked all my friends and neighbors what is foo and why do these people want to fight it? And none of them know neether to.
Anyway this was sure not about any grannys I know and I am sore that we wasted a hole half hour trying to figger out what the heck they was all saying and why they were all up there jumping and screaming like they was. Hubbie said maybe it was some sort of singing. We liked the prayer part thuogh but I think all a lot of them was asking for was to get on the TV which is why they was all praying for I am sure. But that’s the only part we liked. We changed the channel to watch Cops.
Plus P.S. this is why we all must got to vote for Rick Santorum to teech them heathen east coast and west coast TV eleets in there pen houses a good oncet and for all lessun or else Mitt Romney or Newt whichever to.
© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Barking In The Dark 
I started reading this blog not sure what to think but now I’m a full convert. So funny and clever! The highest of well dones.
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Posted by Raul Constantinos | March 9, 2012, 9:24 pmThanks Raul, i appreciate this “highest” of well dones alot. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | March 10, 2012, 6:19 amAlways wondered who was keeping Cops on air ! This goes into my Top 5 of yours – keep fightin’ the Foo !
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Posted by MJ, Nonstepmom | February 28, 2012, 6:10 pmJanet…funny comment. thanks…we all have to “fight the foo” continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | February 28, 2012, 10:30 pmBruno can sure sing, but the punkers get the shaft for not playing to the mainstream. Joe Strummer was/is my all time favorite (RIP). You have to appreciate his lyrics – right up your alley. The future is unwritten…
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Posted by Tom | February 28, 2012, 3:47 pmTom, thanks for the comment…the future is the present. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | February 28, 2012, 10:32 pmI like the way you think, Tony. Genius!
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Posted by SusanWritesPrecise | February 28, 2012, 3:35 pmthanks Susan, i appreciate the kind words. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | February 28, 2012, 10:32 pmAwwww. Bless her heart. You’re hilarious, Tony. I know this woman. You’ve got her pretty well figured out.
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Posted by lisahgolden | February 27, 2012, 7:41 pmi’m sorry i she exists to be figured out tho’ thanks for the kind props Lisa h. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | February 28, 2012, 4:37 amI thought this piece might be more proper gander, because there is no way in hell this woman knows how to use a computer well enough to write an email.
But then she changed the channel to Cops. So maybe…
Laughed myself stupid(er), Tony. Thanks, as always!
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Posted by El Guapo | February 27, 2012, 3:39 amThanx EG, i appreciate your kind words…she dictated it to me. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | February 27, 2012, 6:39 am“…lady person who they showed and they said they was gaga about her…” OMG, too funny! But sadly, these are the type of people that follow Santorum. Once again, phenomenal writing, Tony. You always hit the nail right on the head in a most satirical manner. Bravo!
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Posted by She speaks.... | February 27, 2012, 1:53 amthanks Michelle, for reading, commenting, and the kind words. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | February 27, 2012, 6:40 amReblogged this on Don in Massachusetts and commented:
You’ll split your sides from laughing so hard…
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Posted by Don in Massachusetts | February 27, 2012, 1:23 amThanx Don…for the kind comment and the re-blog. i appreciate it a lot. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | February 27, 2012, 6:41 amToney, tis a mastapeace… when I got to the part, ‘hubbies under wares’ it took me about five get back to reading your post, as I was splitting a gut trying to read it… Great work..
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Posted by Don in Massachusetts | February 27, 2012, 1:22 amI think I’ve run into this woman somewhere before. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. This time I laughed.
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Posted by Sparks In Shadow | February 27, 2012, 1:12 amgood Re, rather you laugh. i hope you don’t run into her too often. continue…
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Posted by barkinginthedark | February 27, 2012, 6:42 am