Co-sponsored by Reps. Harley Ray Smoot of Alabama and Joanne Emmerich of Idaho, the Clutch Roots Of Mate And Go act or CRO-MAG, was passed in The House today by a vote of 247 to 188. The 247 ayes being all Republicans and the 188 nays being all Democrats and Progressives. Said Representative Smoot afterwards; … Continue reading
Image by Nika via Flickr Dateline: New Blemish, Alabama From the New Blemish Daily Morning Movement, Mr. Wilfred T. Flense, a prominent member of the New Blemish branch of The Freedom Caucus, told this reporter yesterday that the baby Jesus had appeared to him in his Swiss melt, “I was havin’ mah lunch ovuh at … Continue reading
Dateline: New Blemish, Alabama From the New Blemish Daily Morning Movement, Mr. Wilfred T. Flense, a prominent member of the New Blemish branch of The Tea Party, told this reporter yesterday that the baby Jesus had appeared to him in his Swiss melt, “I was havin’ my lunch over at Phil and Darla’s Hits … Continue reading
Dateline: New Blemish, Arizona From the New Blemish Daily Morning Movement, Mr. Wilfred T. Flense, a prominent member of the New Blemish branch of The Tea Party, and a lead tenor in the Evangelicals of America Chorus, told this reporter yesterday that the baby Jesus had appeared to him in his Swiss melt. “I was … Continue reading
Republican Primary candidate Mitt Romney made an unscheduled campaign stop yesterday in New Blemish Alabama. The New Blemish Daily Morning Movement, the town’s paper of record reports that Mr. Romney stopped for breakfast, some “pressing the flesh,” and an impromptu “town hall” meeting at New Blemish’s favorite dining destination, Phil and Darla’s Hits ‘n Runs … Continue reading
God and Her son Jesus held a joint press conference today to answer the charges that they had been conspiring to help Tim Tebow win football games this season. Said God, “yeah sure – I was helping this kid all along – like I have nothing better to do with my Sundays but watch the … Continue reading