Mitt Romney

This tag is associated with 25 posts

WHAT!!? ORGY? ORGY?? (# 5 in the Satirical Series; Emails from the Tea Party

I just heard on the TV while I was in the other room that Sprint is America’s favorite ORGY network? What? What??? This is crazy! This is something my grandchildren are seeing! This wanton purmisivness has GOT TO STOP! What with the gays getting married and whatever else those people do, I mean, who knows … Continue reading

Another View From The Tea Party – Educated Division

Contrary to the email you’ve received to date from various other members of our Tea Party, my wife and I are both educated, well-informed university graduates, (me; Oral Roberts University Law School, she; Liberty UniversityLaw School). As attorneys, and students of the Constitution of these United States, we can both vouchsafe that there is nothing … Continue reading

Arizona Man Sees Baby Jesus in His Swiss Melt

Dateline: New Blemish, Arizona From the New Blemish Daily Morning Movement, Mr. Wilfred T. Flense, a prominent member of the New Blemish branch of The Tea Party, and a lead tenor in the Evangelicals of America Chorus, told this reporter yesterday that the baby Jesus had appeared to him in his Swiss melt. “I was … Continue reading

Mitt’s Mistress (La Maitresse de Mitt)

I watched from the window table as the long black Mercedes limo came to a smooth stop curbside in front of Jake’s, a tony restaurant in the Georgetown neighborhood of Washington DC. The chauffeur came around to open the door for the elegant well dressed woman who, with the chauffeur’s assistance, slowly, and with some … Continue reading

The Ballad of Fed Up to Here with These Right-Wing Republican Scumbags or: Go Fuck Yourselves You Fundamentalist GOP Trash

I’m sick of all your bullshit You goobers tryin’ to pull shit Screamin’ from your pulpit Goin’ into full fit Tryin’ to pull the wool shit Ya hear enough and you’ll shit From all you freaky people With your hands into a steeple Quotin’ bullshit from your prayer book As if you really care – … Continue reading

Mitt Romney: I’ll Have the Cheesey Gri- er or: The Art of the Flip- Flop. Or; if I Said That, This is What I Really Meant…For Now. Unless I Change My Mind. I Think. Maybe.

Republican Primary candidate Mitt Romney made an unscheduled campaign stop yesterday in New Blemish Alabama. The New Blemish Daily Morning Movement, the town’s paper of record reports that Mr. Romney stopped for breakfast, some “pressing the flesh,” and an impromptu “town hall” meeting at New Blemish’s favorite dining destination, Phil and Darla’s Hits ‘n Runs … Continue reading