you're reading...
commentary, Humor, poem of a sort

The Ballad of The Religious Right or: My God is Waaaay Better Than Yours

Swaggart's confession

Image via Wikipedia

Now the Religious Right have reached dizzying heights

Of hypocrisy pure plain and simple

St. Mary herself

Seeing their pelf

Would blush red with shame ‘neath her wimple


First we’ve Ralph Reed whose mean hate filled creed

Decrees gays will not make it to heaven

I guess none of us heard

When they passed down the word

Thou shalt gay bash is commandment eleven


Then there’s Ted Haggard a sad closet faggot

And another mean gay basher too

Though he didn’t mind jerkin’

And suckin’ while workin

The Minny-St. Paul airport loo


And of course Jimmy Swaggart an adulterous maggot

That righteous religious authority

Whose mission it seems

Was to spread jizzy streams

On the ladies of the moral majority


Now the religious right with their religious might

Loves to manage our boudoir behavior

There are certain positions

That meet their conditions

With man/boy sex absolved by their saviour


In each of her pinkies my good friend Miss Kinky’s

Got more Christian ways than these culprits

Who lie steal and cheat

Go beat some boy’s meat

Then preach from their high ‘n mighty pulpit


Killing doctors is alright no need to be contrite

They’ve done things that you find contrary

So just get your gun man

One shot and it’s done man

Then kneel and say fifteen hail Marys


And when we show bigness when they whine for forgiveness

Then who are the real Christians here man?

These hypocrites who suck dick

Or us who say “fuck it

Who cares if you’re straight or you’re queer man?”


© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


About barkinginthedark

Tony Powers is a writer/actor/musician. His full bio may be seen by clicking on the picture, and then clicking on either of the 2 boxes below it.


16 thoughts on “The Ballad of The Religious Right or: My God is Waaaay Better Than Yours

  1. I spotted the use of “pelf” too. The last time I saw that was in a Rudyard Kipling poem. Religious extremism is a curse no matter which side of the Godly fence you sit on. Folks just getting on via the human code is what it’s all about. And you can have your God if you wish, just don’t bring him or her to life’s battle as your shining violent sword to scythe all before you. Because really (whispers) I think he’s sitting up there with some fine weed kicking back now he’s got Jimi and Janis an’all . That sure must be a hip place dood. All them white clouds holding up fields and fields rich green finest Mary-Jew-Anna, like you never seen.

    ….sorry, this comment started off so sensible like and see where it ended. See how easy it is?…..


    Posted by Single Malt Monkey | December 22, 2011, 8:43 am
  2. Tony this is a most entertaining post
    Almost too true to be funny
    The truth here that sure hurts
    Is we expose these perverts
    Yet people keep giving them money!


    Posted by Anne Schilde | December 20, 2011, 11:53 pm
  3. Best if I defer comment for now, I could do an entire blog on hypocracy/blasphemy/religion…… brilliant!


    Posted by MJ, Nonstepmom | December 20, 2011, 7:55 pm
  4. “Of hypocrisy pure plain and simple” says it all right there.


    Posted by She speaks.... | December 20, 2011, 1:40 am
  5. Sing with me!
    ‘Oh my god;s better than your god.
    My god’s netter than your!
    My god’s better ’cause he’s god jesus-ration’
    My god’s better than yours!’

    Have to appreciate your genius knowing the meaning of pelf.

    You are bestest Tony


    Posted by Rachael Black | December 20, 2011, 12:20 am
  6. oh, brother. And that’s just the short list!!! You didn’t even get to the Catholic priests! Bruce Ritter, Donald Roemer and Gilbert Gauthe come to mind.

    Someday, people will learn that the more someone screams out against something as being “sinful”, the more likely they are to be participating in it.

    It’s one of the reasons I gave up my religion back in ’01. I just couldn’t stand the hypocrisy. Give me a good ol’ truth telling sinner anyday! LOL


    Posted by Janece | December 19, 2011, 10:14 pm
  7. Hear, hear! Especially like the way you rhyme “Swaggart” with “maggot.”


    Posted by girl in the hat | December 19, 2011, 9:50 pm
  8. Religion is really sad these days. I actually wanted my son Christened (I don’t know, just something nice about it) but of the two Churches I visited – single mum in a bedsitter, fairly isolated – or should I say shameful slut deservedly abandonded; neither of them would Christen Daniel unless I promised to visit their church forever (and obviously add to their kitty), which would prove (to them) I want him to grow up the Christian way.

    I do want him to grow the Christian way, which is to me the way of principles; just, you know, commonsense ‘do unto others’, heartful, soulful principles.

    But the greed and crap, the shows they put on, and the “My God is better than yours”, oh I so get what you’re saying.

    Great poem again.


    Posted by wordsfallfrommyeyes | December 19, 2011, 8:14 pm
    • Thanks for the read and the comment Noeleen…but A. are you being sarcastic when you say “deservedly abandoned?” i hope so, unless you were cheating on Chris (who probably “deserved” that himself). and B. why is it this the”Christian” way? i know that you know that the principals you cite are far older than Christianity. anyway, continue…


      Posted by barkinginthedark | December 20, 2011, 1:02 am

Thank you for reading, I appreciate your time. Kindly Leave a Comment...I Place a High Value on All the Comments of My Readers. Thank you.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: